IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Essay topics: In many countries, children are getting fatter and less fit day by day. Why is it so and suggest solutions.

#topics #countries #children
In recent times, kids are spending more time playing video
games
 and
also
 consuming a great number of
junk
food
 which affects their health and make them fat. In
this
 essay, I will talk about some serious problems and provide relevant solutions to tackle these issues. The major problem of obesity in
children
 is their bad eating habits,
junk
food
 is becoming more and more popular around the world and the majority of kids are eating
junk
 foods
instead
 of home-cooked meals.
However
, the other reason for
this
 issue is lack of physical activity, video
games
 are becoming very popular these days, and some game companies hire some Youtube influencers to market their
games
,
therefore
,
children
 watch those YouTubers and get influenced to play video
games
.
In contrast
, they ignore playing outdoor
games
 like cricket and football which help them to become more fit. The solutions for these problems are, that parents should spend more time with their little ones and motivate them to eat more healthy and home-cooked meals,
instead
 of fast
food
,
additionally
,
junk
food
 companies should
also
 raise their prices to control their bad eating habits.
On the other hand
, schools should take sports as seriously as compared to Math and Science and should start some weekly play programs for the students, which may involve some famous sports personalities to share their experiences and spread the importance of sports among the
children
. To conclude, bad eating habits and lack of physical activity in
children
 is a serious concern and not only parents but
also
 school authorities should start some play programs to motivate offspring to eat healthily and play outdoor
games
.
Submitted by vkworkss on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: