Art considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subject?

#art #part #society #expression #culture #children #focus

it has been argued that

art

is understood as

important

Add an article

an important

show examples

factor in society which can represent the

culture

. Personally, I hold the view that

children

should learn

art

Add an article

the art

show examples

from an early age.

However

, they should be encouraged to concentrate on

art

and other

subjects

equally.

To begin

with, it is fundamental

Change preposition

apply

show examples

importance that

children

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

be taught

art

from early

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

at school or other institutes. In fact,

art

can be considered as an indicator of the

culture

of a society which can demonstrate different aspects of it

such

as its historic background, customs, artistic artefacts and

what not

Correct your spelling

whatnot

show examples

. Meaning that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

children

by learning all aspects of

art

can gain a great understanding of their

culture

and try to preserve

this

precious heritage. By way of example,

children

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

taught about the

last

poets and literature,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

may try to keep them alive

instead

discard

Change the verb form

discarding

show examples

them.

In addition

, granted the

art

is very essential to learn but the young should be encouraged to focus on it and other academic

subjects

equally.

In other words

, other

subjects

like science, maths, physics and so forth can

also

be beneficial for them and they should not be ignored.

Art

classes would create an appropriate bed for

children

to refresh their minds and improve their creativity.

As a result

art

helps students to think outside the box and achieve a vivid imagination. All of these are so valuable and can lead to cognitive development in

children

, whereas it should be gained beside development in other fields. In conclusion, I believe that it is really crucial that the youth learn

art

because by doing so they would preserve their

culture

although

they should

also

concentrate on other

subjects

since they will benefit

children

too.

Submitted by ava.mombeyni on Sun Jul 17 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Art considered as an important part of society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subject?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays both scientists and tourists can go to remote natural environments such as the South Pole. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In order to learn the way other people in the world lives, it is better to look at film and video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Unemployment is a growing problem all over the world. What are the causes of this? What could be done to help tackle this issue? To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians and sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other type of Job should be highly paid?