IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It's quite a common issue for some
students
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 who study at
university
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 to want to learn about other
fields
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in addition
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 to their main
subjects
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. Some believe it's much more important for
students
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 to focus on their main
realm
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 and be specialists.
Although
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 some think it's better for
students
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 to explore more
fields
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 in
university
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.
This
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 essay agrees with the statement
students
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 should be encouraged to learn about other
subjects
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. There are plenty of advantages for
students
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 to acknowledge other
fields
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 in
university
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. To start with, it's important for
students
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 to develop muti-function considering it seems to be a demand in the present era.
Furthermore
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, exploring other
subjects
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 can improve their adaptability and might help them discover what
subjects
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 is they truly interested in and good at.
For example
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, it depends on the academic performance to apply for
university
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 in Taiwan.
Therefore
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,
this
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 might lead to
students
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 might not apply for what they really want, but the the result of garde.
On the contrary
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, some believe that
students
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 should only specialise in their main
subjects
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. It can be understood that concentrating on only
one
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 field might give
one
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 a better chance of becoming a specialist
one
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 day.
Moreover
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, there are some jobs indeed for
students
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 to only focus on their main
subjects
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,
such
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 as medical-related about to be a doctor, nurse and military-related about to be a soldier. Indeed, some specific
fields
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 can only be focused on their
realm
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.
However
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,
this
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 will restrict the future development of
students
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 by only concentrating on
one
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realm
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. In conclusion, I believe the statement
students
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 should be encouraged to learn about other
subjects
Use synonyms
. Because it's crucial and critical for
students
Use synonyms
 to develop multi-function by exploring other
fields
Use synonyms
 to find out what
realm
Use synonyms
 is they truly liked and good at it.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear structure: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to help the reader understand the relationship between ideas (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'On the contrary,' 'In conclusion').
task achievement
Address the task directly and make sure your opinion is clear throughout the essay, especially in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition of words and phrases.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your main points. These examples should be detailed and relevant to the argument you are making.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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