IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Shops should not be allowed to sell food and drinks tha are scientifically proven to be bad for people's health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#shops #food #drinks #tha #people #health
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In today's world,
eating
Correct article usage
the eating
show examples
 habits of many
people
Use synonyms
 are changed
as a result
Linking Words
 of globalization. A far number of individuals have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fond
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
newnormal
Correct your spelling
new normal
new-normal
foods
Use synonyms
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific studies have shown that these edible items have an adverse effect on
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
health
Use synonyms
thus
Linking Words
 growing number of
people
Use synonyms
 argue to ban the outlets of
this
Linking Words
 type
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of foods
show examples
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
. I would completely agree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 given statement.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, most of the fast
foods
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
available
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the market
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
 a detrimental effect on
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body.S hop-keepers add several additives to make the dishes more delicious. It has been causing a lot of abominable diseases like cancer. Many researchers have found that instant
cusines
Correct your spelling
cuisine
cuisines
 contain many poisonous
incredients
Correct your spelling
ingredients
such
Linking Words
 as
aginomoto
Correct your spelling
Ajinomoto
. It can cause
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
show examples
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
show examples
moreover
Linking Words
 it is one of the common
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 cancer.
For instance
Linking Words
 , a study in America has shown that 66%
Change the capitalization
Americans
show examples
americans
Change preposition
of americans
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been becoming carcinogenic recently. Indeed , the Government should ban these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
delivering
Replace the word
delivery
show examples
 shops.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,
closing
Add an article
the closing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shops
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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selling
Wrong verb form
sell
show examples
 unwanted products will create more public awareness. Despite many
people
Use synonyms
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
show examples
 the gruesome impact of dishes on
health
Use synonyms
 but they consume the
food
Use synonyms
 many because of its's taste.
Eventually
Add a comma
,Eventually
show examples
 it can lead to
bad
Add an article
a bad
the bad
show examples
health
Use synonyms
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, due to excessive work
Correct your spelling
schedule
schdule
Correct your spelling
schedules
 and lack of time a large number of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to consume fast
food
Use synonyms
.
Coversely
Correct your spelling
Conversely
 , if the authorities prohibit the marketing of
foods
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society more and more
people
Use synonyms
 become aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the serious concern
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
food
Use synonyms
thus
Linking Words
 they avoid it.
For example
Linking Words
 , in Japan healthy eating habits
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 included in the school
Correct your spelling
curriculum
curriculam
Correct your spelling
curriculum
 so children
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a formidable knowledge
Remove the article
formidable knowledge
a piece of formidable knowledge
show examples
 about
food
Use synonyms
 and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 consequences on
health
Use synonyms
 from childhood onwards. To conclude , instant
foods
Use synonyms
 have a vital role in many families. Most of these
foods
Use synonyms
 are really
Correct your spelling
convenient
convient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 and ready to eat but it has a
drammatic
Correct your spelling
dramatic
 impact on
health
Use synonyms
 so government should
bann
Correct your spelling
ban
 these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 outlets.
Submitted by nairrohith719 on

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