IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #idea #schools #person #parent
In recent years, a growing concern has been evolving around school
education
. People have mixed views on whether
schools
 should teach children to become good
parents
. Some believe it is necessary because
schools
 have a social responsibility to provide training on social adaptability whereas others argue that
schools
 are merely the place where
students
 learn scientific knowledge. Personally, I agree that
schools
 should incorporate parental
education
 for the following reasons.
First
 of all, parental
education
 at
schools
 will facilitate
students
' transformation from
students
 to caring
parents
. admission will deepen their understanding of the role of family and learn the principles of becoming
parents
.
For example
, they will learn how to treat their offspring with patience and
open
Add an article
an open
show examples
 mind.
In addition
,
such
 a practice enables them to become aware of the sacrifice made by the older generation. Ultimately, they will familiarise themselves with children caring skills as well as develop an appreciation of their
parents
 . Aside from that, family
education
 course effectively reduces abortion and the crime rate. Youngsters will be taught the meaning of new life, so they will learn how to take up the duties. Studies reveal that young couples who attended
such
 a training course tend to think twice before making decisions to give birth.
Such
 a course prevents young couples to make irrational decisions. At the same time, the domestic violence rate drops dramatically among mature
parents
 when compared to that of immature. It comes as no surprise that children who have more mature
parents
 tend to lead
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happy life. In conclusion, parental
education
 is necessary at
schools
. It not only teaches
students
 children-bearing skills
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 brings down the abortion rate.
Submitted by jiachenguq on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: