IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than other factors. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?-

#people #habits #age #group #factors
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Nowadays,different generation has a variety of shopping
habits
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
 the
behavior
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behaviour
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 of
people
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are
Change the verb form
is
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one
Use synonyms
 of the most important factors.
However
Linking Words
 many other parameters are important too.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
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,opinion
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 the young generation including teenagers are
one
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 of the most major customers for the producers because they buy the
staffs
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staff
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 and services due to want not by needs. In, fact whenever the reason for purchasing
come
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comes
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 from wanting the shopping
habits
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 and period of that going up because they would follow their hearts and these kinds of bunches have more emotional support during the shopping.
then
Linking Words
 whenever the control of mind
reduced
Add a missing verb
is reduced
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, they would expend more wageage for some
staffs
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staff
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 they don't need seriously.
In addition
Linking Words
, another subject that different age
of
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apply
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groups has different
habits
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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due to their capability and knowing the worth of
money
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. so going to market and spending
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
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 of
money
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 needs lots of amounts
then
Linking Words
 according to the incomes
people
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 of the asset they would able to purchase more.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, whenever a person earns
money
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 by working they would understand the value of any cents
then
Linking Words
 the majority of these kinds of
people
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 have more control over all the single Dollars. and
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
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 subjects come from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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different
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 of
people
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 and in comparing
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
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 with a teenager would recognize who has more attention for calculation about expenses and
habits
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 of buying. In ,conclusion age could be
one
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 of the major factors for purchasing
habits
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, in
Use synonyms
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand rational or emotional behaviour could affect to
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
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 of
people
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 and
on the other hand
Linking Words
 recognition of the worth of
money
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 could affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
purchasing
habits
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hamidrezadehghani1 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption patterns
  • digital natives
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar stores
  • target demographic
  • disposable income
  • consumer behavior
  • market segmentation
  • purchasing power
  • retail therapy
  • brand loyalty
  • impulse buying
  • price-sensitive
  • cross-generational
What to do next:
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