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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
Since ancient times
people
 tried to treat themselves
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 herbals and
another natural products
Replace the adjective
another natural product
other natural products
show examples
.
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days
this
 type of
treatment
 is named
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
alternative
medicine
. Nowadays, more and more
people
 with some diseases decide to use
alternative
 medicines
instead
 of classic
medicine
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will try to discuss
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons. In my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of using traditional
medicine
. The
first
 reason is that nobody knows how
this
treatment
 will affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a person's health. There are a lot of cases when using different herbals caused
allergic
Add an article
an allergic
show examples
reaction
Fix the agreement mistake
reactions
show examples
 and some
people
 dead. The
next
 reason is that
people
 who do not have any medical education try
alternative
 medicines. They do
not
Rewrite the sentence
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
 what the result will be and hope that it will be positive but not always is like that.
Although
 there are a lot of disadvantages, advantages might make
people
 not go to
usual
Correct pronoun usage
their usual
show examples
 doctor. The
first
 and the main pro is that using herbals does not cause environmental problems
such
 as air pollution or gas waste. Many pharmaceutical plants use chemicals which have
harmful
Add an article
a harmful
show examples
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on the environment. The other reason is that
alternative
 medicines are usually much cheaper than usual
treatment
 as you do not have to go to
pharmacy
Add an article
the pharmacy
a pharmacy
show examples
 and buy expensive drugs. To sum it up, the
alternative
treatment
 will be forever because it has some advantages which many
people
 think that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can outweigh the disadvantages but I do not think so.
The conventional
Correct article usage
Conventional
show examples
medicine
 which develops
rocketly
Correct your spelling
rockets
rocket
rocketry
 will drive out other types of
treatment
 in the future.
Submitted by thientrang1616 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • conventional medicine
  • health problems
  • treatments
  • doctor
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • dissatisfaction
  • additional choices
  • options
  • proven
  • proper regulation
  • safety
  • effectiveness
  • holistic approach
  • integration
  • beliefs
  • preferences
What to do next:
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