IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Successful sports professional can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions .some people think this is fully justified while others think this is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#sports #money #people #professions
Some people believe that because of constant media coverage ,sports professionals in our country have become superstars and are paid remuneration compared to other working classes .
In contrast
 ,others think their salaries are reasonable .
This
 essay will analyze the distinct outlooks before reaching the best solution Some see their salaries as unfair as compared to the salaries of surgeons ,research scientists ,or even leading politicians responsible for developing a country .
However
 ,not only the player's solo performance but,in most cases ,the payment is entirely based on his market demand and fanbase .Take ,
for example
 ,MS Dhoni ,a winning captain ,his massive popularity has forced companies to bring him more sponsorships .So the notion of fairness is not the issue ,it is ultimately public support that decides everything,
On the contrary
,opponents believe that sports stars earn a justified amount of payment,as according to them the mastery they demonstrate is a combination of rare talent and hard work for so many .
Therefore
 earning a considerable amount of money in the short span of a career is challenging compared to other job holders .
In addition
 ,the constant pressure to be number one and little privacy out of the limelight may be some factors to justify enormous earnings .To exemplify,Neymar charges a hefty amount for his goals as he has constant media pressure from his national football club.
That is
 why these factors force them to earn lifetime earnings within a short time. In my opinion,both views have merits ,but the best way to solve
this
 issue is to make sure government provides a proper salary structure for each occupation .Without the ethical monetary guidelines,many players would get more chances to exploit and charge more if they knew they could get away with it . To conclude,our society values sports more than any other crucial profession.
Therefore
,In my opinion , the government can introduce a new pay scale .
Submitted by ahmedtanu2011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: