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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #children
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It is argued that overweight
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children
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’s
parents
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 are supposed to be blamed for letting them be fat.
This
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 essay agrees with
this
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 statement because that
children
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 have poor knowledge of nutrition diet and it is the responsibility of
parents
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 to monitor
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children
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’s
food
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 intake.
First
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 of all, supervising
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children
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’s everyday
food
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 consumption is the duty of the
parents
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. In general,
children
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 do not know what kind of
food
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 is good for them and they are not aware of taking junk
food
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 will cause them to be fat. When kids are eating unhealthy
food
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,
parents
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 should be educating them
instead
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 of indulging them. A recent study has shown that
children
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 who have been monitored by
parents
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 with dietary intake have fewer obesity issues.
Secondly
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, to avoid
children
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 becoming obese, maintaining their physical and mental health is the
parents
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’ obligation.
Parents
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 should try not to purchase junk
food
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such
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 as soft drinks and fatty foods or store those foods at home which could prevent kids from accessing them easily. Being overweight not only causes physical problems but
also
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 mental health. A survey of healthy journals found stocking snacks that are easy to reach is likely to lead to over-consume. In conclusion,
parents
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 should pay attention to
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children
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’s eating habits,
in other words
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, constantly helping them to stay in average shape and continue to keep away from unhealthy eating habits are the key to retaining kids' overall health.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • genetics
  • socio-economic status
  • nutritional education
  • physical activity programs
  • adverse effects
  • mental health issues
  • responsibility sharing
  • implementation
  • privileged families
  • supportive environment
  • lifestyle changes
  • educational campaigns
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