IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people argue that children’s television programs should not contain advertisements. Others disagree. Discuss both sides of the debate.

#people #children’s #television #programs #advertisements #debate
These days, a large amount of advertising is aimed at
children
, and some people feel that it should have a negative impact. From my perspective, I believe it should not be completely unacceptable. The
first
 reason to oppose
advertisements
 aimed at
children
 is that
such
advertisements
 may have a determining impact on their behaviour and health. In many families,
parents
 deny their
children
 something they want (i.e., toys, dolls, etc.), which they have seen on television. There will be conflicts between
parents
 and
children
.
As a result
, the kids do not listen to their
parents
 and have actions to take against them. Another reason is that
advertisements
 for fast food and high-sugar drinks are making them appear more appealing and tasty. Unfortunately,
children
 who do not understand the harm when they consume those products, easily purchase them. As a consequence, they can be at risk of many serious health issues,
such
 as obesity or diabetes.
However
, not all
advertisements
 have adverse results. There are a variety of
advertisements
 that are non-commercial and provide educational information,
such
 as courses and books.
Moreover
, the most effective solution is that both schools and
parents
 need to teach kids about information processing skills so that they are no longer misled by advertising. To sum up,
although
 advertising aimed at
children
 may have certain negative impacts on behaviour and health, and misleading information from
advertisements
, it cannot be denied that some advertising serves educational purposes. If
children
 can be taught critical thinking skills, they can absorb relevant
advertisements
.
Submitted by Minh Châu Nguyễn Thị on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: