(VMN)In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?
At
the
present, Correct article usage
apply
technology
is becoming an Use synonyms
indespensable
part of life for Correct your spelling
indispensable
people
as modern techniques are helping them in many ways, and Use synonyms
governments
around the world are investing their Use synonyms
money
in order to invent new technological methods to deal with Use synonyms
its
citizens.
Correct pronoun usage
their
Governments
are doing that to Use synonyms
suppot
their residents, and Correct your spelling
support
also
to reduce Linking Words
its
burden. Correct pronoun usage
their
In addition
, with the invention of new techniques individuals are saving their time. Linking Words
For example
, at various train and bus stations in different countries travellers are able to recharge their travel cards by Linking Words
themsleves
without standing in a queue, waiting for an operator to do that for them, and in Correct your spelling
themselves
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
way
both the officers and Add a comma
way,
a
passengers are able to save a lot of time. Correct article usage
the
Also
, there are Linking Words
jouney
planner applications available for Correct your spelling
journey
people
, and Use synonyms
people
can download them in order to plan their Use synonyms
jouney
without any hassle. Correct your spelling
journey
Moreover
, Linking Words
governments
have made things easy and convenient for their locals, and Use synonyms
people
are able to solve their problems by making only a phone call to any government office without leaving their comforts Use synonyms
from
home. Change preposition
of
For instance
, earlier Linking Words
people
had to visit these offices and Use synonyms
had to
wait for hours in order to get their work done, but now facilities like email, Verb problem
apply
automated
options on call are available to Correct word choice
and automated
sought
out enquiries Change the verb
seek
of
Change preposition
from
people
, and Use synonyms
this
is all possible Linking Words
due to
advancements in Linking Words
technology
.
In my opinion, Use synonyms
governments
are utilising their Use synonyms
money
in a positive Use synonyms
way
, and Use synonyms
this
is definitely not a waste of Linking Words
money
because Use synonyms
this
is what Linking Words
a
modern society demands today. Correct article usage
apply
Governments
by their inventions in Use synonyms
technology
are helping their residents in various ways. Government needs to put aside a specific budget to upgrade Use synonyms
technology
for the Use synonyms
wellfare
and well-being of its Correct your spelling
welfare
people
.
In conclusion, investing time and Use synonyms
money
to invent new things in the form of Use synonyms
technology
always makes Use synonyms
life
of Add an article
the life
people
smooth, and Use synonyms
governments
of different countries are taking Use synonyms
this
step to support Linking Words
its
citizens in a positive Correct pronoun usage
their
way
, I believe it is Use synonyms
a
right decision by them because ultimately it is helping Correct article usage
the
people
one Use synonyms
way
or the other.Use synonyms
Submitted by harleenarora620 on
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Language use
To enhance your essay, aim for variety in sentence structures, which can help in demonstrating a higher level of English proficiency.
Grammar & Spelling
Ensure minor grammatical and spelling errors are corrected, as these can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing. Examples include 'indespensable' (should be 'indispensable'), 'suppot' (should be 'support'), and 'jouney' (should be 'journey').
Task Achievement
Although your essay addresses the prompt, going deeper into the implications of technological investment and perhaps comparing it with other spending priorities could provide a more nuanced perspective.
Coherence & Cohesion
To strengthen coherence, consider connecting your paragraphs with more explicit linking words or phrases that show the relationships between your ideas more clearly. This helps in making the argument flow more naturally.
Introduction & Conclusion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
Supporting Examples
Your use of specific examples, like that of travel card recharges and journey planner applications, effectively supports your main points.
Logical Structure
Your essay maintains a logical flow, discussing the reasons for government investment in technology, followed by your own viewpoint, and concluding with the overall benefits.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.