Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
believe that the number of men and women who be
permitted for academic education should be the same. From my point of view it can be one of the most important Wrong verb form
are
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
according to
have
social justice and its benefits are undeniable both for individuals and society. The first reason for Unnecessary verb
apply
people
university acceptance regardless of gender is creating equal social opportunities according to
have development mental
health. It means that societies which take careChange preposition
of mental
about
social fairness in all matters are more Change preposition
of
development
in all subjects and have mental health rather than countries Replace the word
developed
do
not care. In my Correct pronoun usage
that do
opinion
gender equality is one of the most significant manifestations of equal society. Another reason that I think that universities should accept students irrespective Add a comma
opinion,
that
their gender is the level of society’s awareness. To make it clear, if all individuals can go to university only by taking Change preposition
of
in to
account their talents and abilities Correct your spelling
into
so
the level of knowledge of Correct word choice
apply
people
who working
in Change the form of the verb
work
community
will rise because the number of Add an article
the community
people
educated are more
. Verb problem
will be
Furthermore
if the number of young people
with academic
increase, they can nurture Add an article
the academic
an academic
next
generation more conscious. In conclusion, Correct article usage
the next
similar
chance for going to university for Add an article
a similar
the similar
male
and Fix the agreement mistake
males
female
is Fix the agreement mistake
females
must
Correct article usage
a must
to do
because it has a lot of benefits for society in increasing the level of community awareness, Verb problem
apply
development
the rate of efficiency of employees and Replace the word
developing
finally
improvement in
mental health.Replace the word
improving
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite