IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #students
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the number of men and women who
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 permitted for academic education should be the same. From my point of view it can be one of the most important
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
according to
Linking Words
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
social justice and its benefits are undeniable both for individuals and society. The first reason for
people
Use synonyms
 university acceptance regardless of gender is creating equal social opportunities
according to
Linking Words
 have development
mental
Change preposition
of mental
show examples
 health. It means that societies which take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 social fairness in all matters are more
development
Replace the word
developed
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 in all subjects and have mental health rather than countries
do
Correct pronoun usage
that do
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 not care. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 gender equality is one of the most significant manifestations of equal society. Another reason that I think that universities should accept students irrespective
that
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their gender is the level of society’s awareness. To make it clear, if all individuals can go to university only by taking
in to
Correct your spelling
into
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 account their talents and abilities
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the level of knowledge of
people
Use synonyms
 who
working
Change the form of the verb
work
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 in
community
Add an article
the community
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 will rise because the number of
people
Use synonyms
 educated
are more
Verb problem
will be
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 if the number of young
people
Use synonyms
 with
academic
Add an article
the academic
an academic
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 increase, they can nurture
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generation more conscious. In conclusion,
similar
Add an article
a similar
the similar
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 chance for going to university for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 is
must
Correct article usage
a must
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to do
Verb problem
apply
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because it has a lot of benefits for society in increasing the level of community awareness,
development
Replace the word
developing
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 the rate of efficiency of employees and
finally
Linking Words
improvement in
Replace the word
improving
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 mental health.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
What to do next:
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