IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #animals #zoos
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Wild
animals
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 are kept in
zoos
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 all over the world. At present,
zoos
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 are a tourist attraction in many countries and need wild
animals
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 to attract
Correct your spelling
visitors
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
. I
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believe
beleve
Correct your spelling
believe
 that wild creatures should not be kept in
zoos
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 and there should be alternative ways to see them. There are many good reasons for having
zoos
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 in our cities. Most importantly, they attract tourists and make money for
city
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the city
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. Visitors get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to see wild
animals
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 that they would not see unless they travelled far away. Rare species, like
Chinese
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the Chinese
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 panda,
or
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apply
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Indian tiger, or African rhino
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 example, are endangered and if we had no
zoos
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 they would die.
Zoos
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 care for these aminals and give us chance to see them.
Therefore
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, we cannot underestimate
Correct your spelling
the
teh
Correct your spelling
the
 educational importance of
zoos
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.
However
Linking Words
, many people feel that wild
animals
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 should be free. They should not be kept in cages and small areas in
Add an article
the zoo
a zoo
show examples
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
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.
This
Linking Words
 is cruel for animal and they often die because they
is
Change the verb form
are
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 not in
natural
Correct pronoun usage
their natural
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 habitat. We frequently see
news
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a news
the news
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story
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stories
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 about rare
animals
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 dying in
zoos
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 or getting sick because
area
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the area
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 is not big enough or suitable for wild
animals
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 like lions or polar bears.
Also
Linking Words
, these
animals
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 are unhappy and sometimes attack humans. Caging wild
animals
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 is unhealthy for the
animals
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 and is cruel. Both views put forward valid points,
however
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
zoos
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 are no place for wild
animals
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. If
animals
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 need to be cared for, they should be looked after in
Correct your spelling
their
theier
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their
 natural
habitat
Change to a plural noun
habitats
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 in game parks or wildlife reserves.
Goverments
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Governments
Government
 should look after the precious wild
animals
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at
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in
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 their country and should close down
zoos
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 that profit from them. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 people believe that
zoos
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 are good places to keep wild
animals
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 because they can earn money and educate people, I feel that we do not need
zoos
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 anymore. We can look at wild
animals
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 on the internet and we can feel happy knowing that they are free.
Submitted by natthanon.premarun on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
What to do next:
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