Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities, Others, however, say that this would have littel effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
Use synonyms
believe that improvisation in
sports
Use synonyms
facilities is a way to improve public health, whereas another section of individuals argue that
this
Linking Words
has little impact, and other measures should be taken. In my view along with the availability of
sports
Use synonyms
other factors are
also
Linking Words
required.
This
Linking Words
essay discusses both views with explanations and examples.
To begin
Linking Words
with, on the one hand, increasing the availability of
sports
Use synonyms
is one of the solutions,which can only use for the inhabitants who know the play and who are physically fit.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly
people
Use synonyms
, whose body is inactive and not supportive may require other steps for
this
Linking Words
phenomenon.
For example
Linking Words
, if government arranges a playground
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
each
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
street
Change to a plural noun
streets
show examples
to tackle the issue, only youth and children can benefit from
this
Linking Words
. But the aged persons should have to look for other help.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some other remedies should
also
Linking Words
be taken into consideration.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
alone cannot show the impact.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, making
people
Use synonyms
aware that
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
can better their health. Arranging awareness programs and
detail
Replace the word
detailed
show examples
description
Fix the agreement mistake
descriptions
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the fat and carbohydrates they intake daily can add to
this
Linking Words
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
eat many items, without even knowing about the ingredients, with which the item is made
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. So, talking about them can help solve the problem. Adding on, including lessons on the importance of health in the academics of students can be another solution.
For example
Linking Words
, if children learn about
this
Linking Words
trend from their schooling, they can make their parents and elders in the family aware of
this
Linking Words
situation, as a
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
result change within society. To conclude, I agree with both the given statements, because both together can bring
a
Change the article
an
show examples
immediate change
that is
Linking Words
increasing
sports
Use synonyms
equipment
combining
Wrong verb form
combined
show examples
with bringing awareness among elders as well as including health-related topics in education can be effective.
Submitted by mk.manasa26 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: