Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities, Others, however, say that this would have littel effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion?

Many
people
believe that improvisation in
sports
facilities is a way to improve public health, whereas another section of individuals argue that
this
has little impact, and other measures should be taken. In my view along with the availability of
sports
other factors are
also
required.
This
essay discusses both views with explanations and examples.
To begin
with, on the one hand, increasing the availability of
sports
is one of the solutions,which can only use for the inhabitants who know the play and who are physically fit.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly
people
, whose body is inactive and not supportive may require other steps for
this
phenomenon.
For example
, if government arranges a playground
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
each
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
street
Change to a plural noun
streets
show examples
to tackle the issue, only youth and children can benefit from
this
. But the aged persons should have to look for other help.
Therefore
, some other remedies should
also
be taken into consideration.
Hence
,
this
alone cannot show the impact.
Furthermore
, making
people
aware that
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
can better their health. Arranging awareness programs and
detail
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detailed
show examples
description
Fix the agreement mistake
descriptions
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about
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of
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the fat and carbohydrates they intake daily can add to
this
.
For instance
, many
people
eat many items, without even knowing about the ingredients, with which the item is made
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. So, talking about them can help solve the problem. Adding on, including lessons on the importance of health in the academics of students can be another solution.
For example
, if children learn about
this
trend from their schooling, they can make their parents and elders in the family aware of
this
situation, as a
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
result change within society. To conclude, I agree with both the given statements, because both together can bring
a
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an
show examples
immediate change
that is
increasing
sports
equipment
combining
Wrong verb form
combined
show examples
with bringing awareness among elders as well as including health-related topics in education can be effective.
Submitted by mk.manasa26 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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