IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#people #choices
In general, few people think that we have numerous options to choose anything. I agree with those who think there are too many brands available today to purchase a product.
Also
, each brand comes up with a variety of choices and a variety of selling platforms.
Firstly
, when considering clothes, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 too
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
variety
Change to a plural noun
varieties
show examples
. Those brands are sold in various avenues like own showrooms in a shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
, e-commerce websites etc.
However
, not all products available on their websites are available in-store so the person is let into a state of confusion. Few people would like to wear the cloth which they buy but
such
 an option is not available through an e-commerce site but he/she might get it at a cheaper rate.
For example
, during the clearance sale particular site might give a huge discount which will lead to confusion.
Secondly
, mobile phones are invented with new features by telecommunication commodity manufacturers. It comes with numerous specifications and features. In the case of mobile phones planned obsolesce is a trick followed by manufacturers. Users are forced to change their phones after every three years else they are made to feel outdated. Along with manufacturers banks has tied up and they provide offers which lead to
further
 dilemma not allowing to settle in a commodity. To conclude, today’s market is globalised. As mentioned earlier, there are multiple countries making products like home appliances like refrigerators, Air conditioners etc. New varieties are arising on daily basis. Few varieties may fail to provide proper after-sale service. Considering various factors to buy a product and doing research is killing one’s time.So I feel, that too many options will spoil the consumer’s minds.
Submitted by vengateshkr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: