Some people think that travelling abroad is necessary while others believe it's not because TV and the Internet can give people the same information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #tv #internet #information

Since online media have included to in modern days travelling, to visiting foreign countries become more unnecessary. While some individuals

agrued

Correct your spelling

argued

argue

that travelling abroad can provide

exclusive

Add an article

an exclusive

show examples

experience

which can not find on screen.

However

, in my personal judgment,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

travelling is worth

to go

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going

show examples

themselve

Correct your spelling

themselves

since it will

benefits

Change the verb form

benefit

show examples

the

traveler

Change the spelling

traveller

show examples

experience

and sentimental value. On the one hand, the proponents may suggest that

experience

Wrong verb form

experiencing

show examples

foreign countries

from

Change preposition

via

show examples

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

fast, easy and

cost saving

Add a hyphen

cost-saving

show examples

This

is because people can acquire many

informations

Correct your spelling

information

amounts

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amount

show examples

of time as

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

as visiting places by themselves.

Moreover

, travelling by

internet

may

can

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

reduce redundant costs

such

as accommodation rental and transportation. From these advantages, it can

disregarded

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disregard

show examples

the old fashion way of travelling.

For example

, there are many Asian

traveller

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travellers

show examples

attend

Correct pronoun usage

who attend

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

VR-travelling in

local

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a local

show examples

museum

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museums

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rather than go the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

place, because it

easy

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is easy

show examples

to access and they do not have to pay for

plane

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a plane

show examples

ticket

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tickets

show examples

to go there.

On the other hand

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

abroad may

provided

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provide

show examples

an exclusive

experience

which can not receive from the

internet

This

is because most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online

Add an article

the online

show examples

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

portrayed only the information from

author's

Correct article usage

the author's

show examples

Correct your spelling

viewpoint

show examples

view point

Correct your spelling

viewpoint

show examples

while

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reality

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

multiple

Change preposition

apply

show examples

aspects which they can not express.

Moreover

, visiting foreign places by themselves will provide many situations

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

they can directly interact

Change preposition

with

show examples

the community,

such

as talking to the natives and having local dishes and these

Correct your spelling

experience

experiences

expererience

Correct your spelling

experiences

are valuable in mentality

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

show examples

. To summarize,

although

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

can provide

Change the article

the

show examples

same information as same as

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

abroad, it is still necessary for the tourist to visit by

Correct your spelling

themselves

themselve

Correct your spelling

themselves

This

is because

this

way of

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

has more sentimental value and intense

experience

Submitted by praewah.keereewan on Tue Jul 19 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that travelling abroad is necessary while others believe it's not because TV and the Internet can give people the same information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that to become successful at a sport requires a natural ability, others think that hardwork and practice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, inspite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It has recently been announced that a new movie theater may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Providing children with pocket money on a weekly basis can benefit them in the future. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.