IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that travelling abroad is necessary while others believe it's not because TV and the Internet can give people the same information. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #tv #internet #information
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Since online media have included to in modern days travelling, to visiting foreign countries become more unnecessary. While some individuals argue that travelling abroad can provide an exclusive experience which can not find on screen.
However
Linking Words
, in my personal judgment, travelling is worth going by themselves since it will benefit the traveller in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of sentimental value. On the one hand, the proponents may suggest that experiencing foreign countries via the
internet
Use synonyms
 is fast, easy and cost-saving.
This
Linking Words
 is because people can acquire information in an amount of time as the same as visiting places by themselves.
Moreover
Linking Words
, travelling by
internet
Use synonyms
 may reduce redundant costs
such
Linking Words
 as accommodation rental and transportation. From these advantages, it can disregard the old fashion way of travelling.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many Asian travellers who attend VR-travelling in local museums rather than go to the place, because it is easy to access and they do not have to pay for a plane ticket to go there.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, travelling abroad may provide an exclusive experience which can not receive from the
internet
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because most online media portrayed only the information from the author's viewpoint while reality has multiple aspects which they can not express.
Moreover
Linking Words
, visiting foreign places by themselves will provide many situations in which they can directly interact with the community,
such
Linking Words
 as talking to the natives and having local dishes and these experiences are valuable in mentality terms. To summarize,
although
Linking Words
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 can provide the same information as same as travelling abroad, it is still necessary for the tourist to visit by themselves.
This
Linking Words
 is because
this
Linking Words
 way of travelling has more sentimental value and intense experience.
Submitted by praewah.keereewan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: