Television sports shows such as Olympic are a good source of motivation for youths who do not like to exercise much. To you agree or disagree?

One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal surge in the number of people believing that youngsters need to watch
sports
activities on
television
.I completely agree with
Add an article
the above
show examples
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
statement and
this
essay will delve into a discussion of my supporting view in the upcoming paragraphs. i To commence with, there are a number of reasons why youth watch
sports
channels on
television
.
first
and foremost, when they watch
sports
events on
television
and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
so they can create interest in
sports
activities as they can do participates in various
sports
and games. To elaborate, at that time they can learn many rules of
sports
through watching international matches.
To
Change preposition
For
show examples
instance, a survey
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
conducted by the department of education In the USA is
releved
Correct your spelling
relieved
believed
that when India has won 24 gold
medels
Correct your spelling
medals
in 2014. As
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
, more than 40% growth
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
participants in the
Olympic
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympics
show examples
in India.
On the other hand
, Some individuals say that when they watch more
sports
on
television
so its effect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their health and brain because they do not prefer to
Correct your spelling
exercise
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
much. when they do not play
sports
then
they
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
grow their confidence and teamwork.
In addition
, if they want to watch
sports
live matches
then
they try to go
playgrounds
Change preposition
to playgrounds
show examples
.they have no time because they have already more burden of their education. To capitulate, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a conclusion that the benefits and drawbacks
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
are indeed too great to ignore.
Submitted by mangataman93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: