In many countries, people have health problems because they chose to live an unhealthy lifestyle. What are the reasons and solutions?

#countries #people #health #lifestyle

In many countries, an unhealthy lifestyle is a popular phenomenon, causing numerous health problems. In my opinion, there are some main solutions, which need to be considered.

To begin

with, there are some main reasons,

Change preposition

apply

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which working overtime is one of them

due to

the development of society. The increasing volume of jobs gets people exhausted and stressed out;

therefore

, they

finally

end up with ready-cooked meals, which are considered unhealthy foods, containing a high proportion of salt and sugar.

Furthermore

, playing computer

games

is a vital reason as young people especially enjoy playing

games

with friends;

thus

having

Verb problem

being

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seated in front of the screen too long without doing exercise after work causes physical problems

such

shorted-eyes

Correct your spelling

short eyes

show examples

or backache. A good example of

this

is the high rate of obesity in the American population

due to

their habits of eating fast foods and playing video

games

. To counter

this

issue, individuals should learn to manage their time in both working and entertaining so that they have enough time to cook healthy foods. They should avoid indulging in overtime-working culture and spend at least thirty minutes or an hour on extracurricular activities daily.

In addition

, despite the importance of entertainment, we should play

games

less at night in order to keep the body relaxed.

Thus

, by making small changes in the daily routine, they can have a profound effect on

overall

fitness. In short, getting a healthy lifestyle is significant as it brings in numerous health benefits.

Therefore

, we should balance and structure our time wisely for jobs, and entertainment.

Submitted by marcofirst0812 on Tue Jul 19 2022

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task response

To improve task response, make sure to address all parts of the prompt clearly and thoroughly. In this essay, you have provided reasons and solutions for unhealthy lifestyle choices, but you can enhance the task response by expanding on the reasons and providing more specific solutions.

coherence and cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on creating a clearer and more structured flow of ideas. Use transition words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea or point to improve coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
technological advancements
fast food
processed food
dietary choices
stressful work environments
neglect
health education
consequences
advertising
health programs
active living
policies
availability
nutrition studies
conducive environments
pedestrian areas
media campaigns
healthy lifestyle
risks

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In many countries, people have health problems because they chose to live an unhealthy lifestyle. What are the reasons and solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people say history is one of the most important schools subjects. Other people think, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

A huge number of students choose to study English independently on a self-study basis rather than attend a formal course. However, without the assistance of a teacher, students often find it difficult to manage their studies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the most important aim of science is it improves people' lives. What extend do you agree or disagree?