At the present, the population of some countires includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#population #countires #adults #people #situation

The mean age of each county is the main factor that will bring pros and cons for the society,

however

, both young and elderly nations have own advantages vs disadvantages, but, the role of youngers has not

uneveitable

Correct your spelling

inevitable

alingside

Correct your spelling

alongside

, each country needs to

olders

Correct your spelling

holders

for transmitting values to

generation, so, I will explore on

this

issue in upcoming paragraphs. At

first

, it has been known a main feature of

jouniors

Correct your spelling

juniors

flexible

Add an article

a flexible

the flexible

show examples

mindset ,according to results of the scientific investigation in China where the

most

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

majority of papulation are young ,scientists designed two groups that were different

Change preposition

show examples

their ages,after that, young population faced with many problems and they should solve these, in the end, they have shown more flexibility to create a solution than older group, so,

this

characteristic was played a major role in possible conflictions in their community.

Second

, fresh people have built

lively

Correct article usage

a lively

show examples

Correct your spelling

atmosphere

atmospher

Correct your spelling

atmosphere

, so, due to

this

environment the tension and

Correct your spelling

hope

hopless

Correct your spelling

hopeless

will

be vanished

Change to the active voice

vanish

have vanished

show examples

and the mortality rate will be decreased,

for example

, Japanese psychologists claimed

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

children can be able to remove

hopeless

Replace the word

hopelessness

show examples

from their grandparents, in

also

, their nephew can

confined

Change the verb form

be confined

show examples

to them for progressing in their life, so, both

generation

Change to a plural noun

generations

show examples

has been needed for

comunity

Correct your spelling

community

and balancing between their numbers will produce hope and confidence. To summarize

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, young nations are more optimistic and bring more solutions while

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

are the

columns

Fix the agreement mistake

column

show examples

for youngers.

Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on Wed Jul 20 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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At the present, the population of some countires includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, it is possible to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many university students are choosing to study online instead of face to face. Do the advantages of distance education outwiegh the disadvantages?

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world's fuel resources.