Some people believe that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions. Discuss both sides and then give your own opinion.

#people #education #system #focus #students #employment #functions

There is a continuous argument over whether schools had better only knuckle down getting pupils ready for their careers without elaborating

additional

Change preposition

on additional

show examples

crucial purposes. In the essay, I'm going to examine

this

question from both points of view and

then

give my own take on the matter. On one side of the argument, there are people who argue that the merits of focusing on preparing sufficient prowess and knowledge for a student's future employment considerably outweigh its demerits. The principal reason is that it helps children have better career positions and more lucrative jobs. They will be able to make good solutions and decisions to get through tough situations in their particular fields and have big jumps in their career paths.

Besides

, It is said that it can lead to a better workforce which benefits society.

For example

, some medical colleges have a special course which encourages students access to in-depth knowledge and practical experiences and they will easily possess occupations in the future.

On the other hand

, it is possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that in fact education system

also

has other important functions. They often have their

opinion

Correct word choice

own opinion

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because it is ideal for students to learn living skills

such

as communicating, leading prowess and how to use technology etc, which are practical for their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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. A second point is that schools have been indelibly imprinted on pupils' proper principles like respect, moral values and good manners which make society better.

For instance

, thanks to the great strides in technology, people who

equip

Wrong verb form

are equipped

show examples

with good knowledge about technology are always highly appreciated because they are able to understand the basic concepts of the computer and machinery which makes their work much easier. In conclusion, I believe both sides have their own advantages. On balance,

however

, I more strongly support other functions because if the students are well-rounded they will be more successful in their lives and contribute more to society.

Submitted by domaianh.uliser on Wed Jul 20 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions. Discuss both sides and then give your own opinion.

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and enough on learning practical skills, Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar.

In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?