Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There have been known that the amounts of
companies
Use synonyms
which are located in the local area and
people
Use synonyms
who live there, should be built sports and social amenities. I strongly believe that that case must support each society ,especially governments. I will explain how to do so in
this
Linking Words
essay.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
agreement
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
should have space area for communities because they find it easy to spend enjoyable
time
Use synonyms
with relatives or friends.
In addition
Linking Words
, these opportunities can be created to
impress
Verb problem
create
show examples
relationships among
people
Use synonyms
. Another benefit is that if factories or
working place
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
have a large activities area,
people
Use synonyms
will like to enjoy spending moments in these places as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, governments really appreciate
this
Linking Words
situation
due to
Linking Words
happiness has to affect the population's life positively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
parents
Change noun form
parents'
show examples
working life will encourage their children
next
Change preposition
in next
show examples
future. ,
Also
Linking Words
job satisfaction can lead to solving some family problems via having flexible
time
Use synonyms
in these social areas.
For example
Linking Words
, if one desires to work off a little
time
Use synonyms
during working hours and they need some fresh air or sports activities, they can do it in these places at any
time
Use synonyms
. After that
companies
Use synonyms
really appreciate workers' satisfaction and they believe that they
are
Verb problem
play
show examples
a vital role in the production of any field.
Therefore
Linking Words
, bosses are more pay attention to workers' requirements regularly.
To conclude
Linking Words
, all over the world
companies
Use synonyms
may be interested in community desiring sports and social interaction. As most department workers really want to show and do something about
this
Linking Words
issue by
companies
Use synonyms
. Improving facility conditions can
have encouraged
Wrong verb form
encourage
show examples
people
Use synonyms
these days.
Submitted by mehmetrustuaksoy103 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Check the grammar and vocabulary to ensure clarity and accurate expression of ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly address all parts of the question and provide a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by organizing them more coherently. Work on linking ideas and paragraphs for smoother transitions.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: