IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree.

#companies #sports #facilities #communities
There have been known that the amounts of
companies
 which are located in the local area and
people
 who live there, should be built sports and social amenities. I strongly believe that that case must support each society ,especially governments. I will explain how to do so in
this
 essay.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
 agreement
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
companies
 should have space area for communities because they find it easy to spend enjoyable
time
 with relatives or friends.
In addition
, these opportunities can be created to
impress
Verb problem
create
show examples
 relationships among
people
. Another benefit is that if factories or
working place
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
 have a large activities area,
people
 will like to enjoy spending moments in these places as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
.
Furthermore
, governments really appreciate
this
 situation
due to
 happiness has to affect the population's life positively.
On the other hand
,
parents
Change noun form
parents'
show examples
 working life will encourage their children
next
Change preposition
in next
show examples
 future. ,
Also
 job satisfaction can lead to solving some family problems via having flexible
time
 in these social areas.
For example
, if one desires to work off a little
time
 during working hours and they need some fresh air or sports activities, they can do it in these places at any
time
. After that
companies
 really appreciate workers' satisfaction and they believe that they
are
Verb problem
play
show examples
 a vital role in the production of any field.
Therefore
, bosses are more pay attention to workers' requirements regularly.
To conclude
, all over the world
companies
 may be interested in community desiring sports and social interaction. As most department workers really want to show and do something about
this
 issue by
companies
. Improving facility conditions can
have encouraged
Wrong verb form
encourage
show examples
people
 these days.
Submitted by mehmetrustuaksoy103 on

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language
Check the grammar and vocabulary to ensure clarity and accurate expression of ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly address all parts of the question and provide a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by organizing them more coherently. Work on linking ideas and paragraphs for smoother transitions.

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