IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that it is better to work for the same company, while others think that changing companies is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #work #company #companies
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There is a growth in options available for employment throughout the world. Many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to spend their
work
Use synonyms
 life in one
company
Use synonyms
, but others
want
Add the particle
towant
show examples
 explore better companies. I think working in different areas in multiple managements
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many
Correct your spelling
benefits
bebefits
Correct your spelling
benefits
. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 argue that working in
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
company
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a lot of advantages,
for example
Linking Words
, influence in the
company
Use synonyms
 increase over a period of time, which
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 you a sense of comfort.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the residence most probably remains the same and,
as a result
Linking Words
, the commute may be easier.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is always smooth to deliver the task in a familiar environment.
However
Linking Words
, sticking to the same kind of job
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 have many drawbacks. With regard to change in
Use synonyms
Add an article
the work
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 have opportunities to explore new ideas.
For instance
Linking Words
, a surgery resident after learning surgical skills from one consultant might improve his skills
further
Linking Words
 if he works under another institute consultant.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
employee
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
 can develop new ideas if he
allowed
Add a missing verb
is allowed
show examples
to
Change the verb form
working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 in
unfamiliar
Correct article usage
an unfamiliar
show examples
 kind of office, as he thinks differently.
Finally
Linking Words
, if a person
gain
Change the verb form
gains
show examples
 abilities in different sections of his field, it will improve his CV, which again
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to attain better positions in
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 working in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 place can be comfortable due to familiarity
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 and commute,
people
Use synonyms
 can gain better skills and develop novel ideas, which will improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 CV.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job stability
  • career progression
  • professional growth
  • long-term benefits
  • company loyalty
  • job satisfaction
  • career opportunities
  • skills development
  • industry trends
  • networking opportunities
  • work environment adaptability
  • globalized job markets
  • employment benefits
  • company culture
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