Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

As excessive consumption of fast
food
is considered to adversely affect human health, whether
this
concern can be tackled by
education
is a recent
debation
Replace the word
debate
show examples
. From the author's perspective, the strength of
education
is noticeable but not sufficient to limit the trouble,
due to
the individual's awareness and their harsh schedules.
Initially
,
education
actually plays a vital role in informing what is beneficial or not in the learner's mind.
In particular
, being taught about nutrition can promote healthy diets
as well as
avoiding
high-cholesterol
Correct your spelling
high cholesterol
show examples
fast
food
, leading to a healthy lifestyle. In fact,
this
is usually seen in plenty of cooking classes or the nutrition lessons of many well-known companies.
Therefore
,
education
is commonly thought of as an effective solution in terms of eating unhealthy
food
.
However
, only teaching is inadequate to entirely alleviate the problem. The actual root of
this
leans on people's awareness and their busy lives. Without recognizing the real danger of junk
food
,
such
as foods containing a high proportion of protein and glucose, a person cannot stop consuming these hardly-resisted dishes, even after having specialized and enthusiastic lessons about balancing the diet. It
also
derives from their fast-paced lives, when time and money from work are highly prioritized
while
consumption is relatively underestimated, and people choose fast
food
to eat because of its low price and convenience. Take America as a prime example, where a variety of fast
food
stores appear with the ability to immediately serve the meal right in the car after a few minutes of ordering.
This
,
hence
, cannot be dealt with only by teaching the flaws of junk
food
but
also
by other practical actions. Taxing junk
food
is one of the suggested options that can partly restrict the number of consumers. Still, another way highly recommended is to improve its nutritional quality by selling a balanced set of meals or by inclining towards vegetarian
food
that tastes like meat. In Japan,
for instance
, a suitable set of rice, or Bento, is usually sold to consumers in convenience stores and still contains enough energy and vital compounds needed for the body.
To sum up
, as it is hard to fully realize the disadvantages of fast-consumed dishes from
education
,
this
seems not to be a suitable solution.
Following
this
should be an enhancement in the quality and convenience of the
food
served.
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task achievement
While your essay addresses both views of the topic effectively, adding a few more specific and varied examples would help strengthen your arguments even further.
coherence cohesion
In your essay, make sure to diversify sentence structures and vocabulary to avoid repetition. This will help to maintain reader's interest and demonstrate a higher range of language use.
task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the debate and provides a well-reasoned opinion. This shows a strong task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, with a cohesive flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Your introduction and conclusion are both well-structured and tie your essay together nicely.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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