Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

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As excessive consumption of fast
food
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is considered to adversely affect human health, whether
this
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concern can be tackled by
education
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is a recent
debation
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debate
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. From the author's perspective, the strength of
education
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is noticeable but not sufficient to limit the trouble,
due to
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the individual's awareness and their harsh schedules.
Initially
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,
education
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actually plays a vital role in informing what is beneficial or not in the learner's mind.
In particular
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, being taught about nutrition can promote healthy diets
as well as
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avoiding
high-cholesterol
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high cholesterol
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fast
food
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, leading to a healthy lifestyle. In fact,
this
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is usually seen in plenty of cooking classes or the nutrition lessons of many well-known companies.
Therefore
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,
education
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is commonly thought of as an effective solution in terms of eating unhealthy
food
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.
However
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, only teaching is inadequate to entirely alleviate the problem. The actual root of
this
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leans on people's awareness and their busy lives. Without recognizing the real danger of junk
food
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,
such
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as foods containing a high proportion of protein and glucose, a person cannot stop consuming these hardly-resisted dishes, even after having specialized and enthusiastic lessons about balancing the diet. It
also
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derives from their fast-paced lives, when time and money from work are highly prioritized
while
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consumption is relatively underestimated, and people choose fast
food
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to eat because of its low price and convenience. Take America as a prime example, where a variety of fast
food
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stores appear with the ability to immediately serve the meal right in the car after a few minutes of ordering.
This
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,
hence
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, cannot be dealt with only by teaching the flaws of junk
food
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but
also
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by other practical actions. Taxing junk
food
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is one of the suggested options that can partly restrict the number of consumers. Still, another way highly recommended is to improve its nutritional quality by selling a balanced set of meals or by inclining towards vegetarian
food
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that tastes like meat. In Japan,
for instance
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, a suitable set of rice, or Bento, is usually sold to consumers in convenience stores and still contains enough energy and vital compounds needed for the body.
To sum up
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, as it is hard to fully realize the disadvantages of fast-consumed dishes from
education
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,
this
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seems not to be a suitable solution.
Following
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this
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should be an enhancement in the quality and convenience of the
food
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served.
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task achievement
While your essay addresses both views of the topic effectively, adding a few more specific and varied examples would help strengthen your arguments even further.
coherence cohesion
In your essay, make sure to diversify sentence structures and vocabulary to avoid repetition. This will help to maintain reader's interest and demonstrate a higher range of language use.
task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the debate and provides a well-reasoned opinion. This shows a strong task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, with a cohesive flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Your introduction and conclusion are both well-structured and tie your essay together nicely.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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