IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Poor students or students who come from rural areas often find it is difficult to get access to the university education, so some people think universities should make it easier for them to study at. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #areas #access #university #education #people #universities #study
Some people think that
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 should do
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 consideration
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
rural
Add an article
the rural
a rural
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to get
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
admission
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
higher education. We are going to discuss here
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 government intervention
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more important. I will give my opinion in the conclusion, now we are going to discuss and elaborate with a relevant example. On the one hand, Lack of
technology
Replace the word
technical
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 in the rural area as well as connectivity.
Moreover
, higher type schooling is not getting in the village
school
 which effect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pupil study.
For example
, in comparison with
urban
Add an article
an urban
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, they have a good
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
,
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
variety
Replace the word
various
show examples
technologies
Change preposition
of technologies
show examples
 and
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 professional teaching
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
. To elaborate, rural students are not aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 anything which they
lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
show examples
 in extra knowledge. Development is very important in the rural area like a city.
Furthermore
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 has to be more
focus
Replace the word
focused
show examples
 on the villagers.
There
Replace the word
Their
show examples
 people are financially not well to take
admission
Replace the word
admitted
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 expensive
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 Few are not sending their child
school
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
.
administration
Add an article
the administration
show examples
 has to take
stand
Correct article usage
a stand
show examples
 for
rural
Add an article
the rural
a rural
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
.
For instance
, Same
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nationals are
providing
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
 free education until they are not standing on
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own foot.
Likewise
,
regime
Correct article usage
the regime
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to give free food in
school
, free hospital for poor people as well as good technology in
school
 for
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
. That will help to learn poor
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 with
talent
Add an article
the talent
a talent
show examples
 to achieve good
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
. To conclude, I think I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 with the above sentence but if government take any discission for poverty pupil, it will not require
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
 to change
rule
Add an article
the rule
show examples
 for rural and urban
Submitted by popatmarkad90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: