A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that a higher
salary
is much more necessary than
job
satisfaction
. I completely disagree with
this
view and I argue that
job
pleasure is much more essential than a higher
salary
for
people
’s lives. The first reason why I support
this
view is that I believe that
job
satisfaction
gives
people
a sense of fulfilment that no money can guarantee. To be more specific, sometimes
although
people
earn a lot of money, they can not live comfortably because they feel tense and compromise with their conscience, and
this
person will not enjoy his life.
For example
, some famous researchers enjoy their
job
and they earn
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
money because they choose
this
job
due to
Change preposition
because
show examples
they are interested in
this
business.
That is
why it is important to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only at a high
salary
. Another reason to consider is that doing what you like keeps you motivated and
therefore
leads to career growth.
In other words
, there is a strong relationship between
job
satisfaction
and productivity. If
people
who love their work can easily in their fields of work and achieve better results than those, who put
salary
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first place.
For instance
, a person who has just started a business if he loves his own
job
, consequence, he will be successful in his business. In conclusion, I strongly claim that
job
satisfaction
is more beneficial than a high
salary
because it makes
people
happy and motivated
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support and Expansion
To enhance clarity and persuasiveness, consider expanding your examples with more detailed evidence. This will reinforce your arguments and make them more convincing.
Sentence Structure
Be attentive to vary your sentence structures to add complexity and interest to your writing. While your essay is well-structured, adding more varied sentences could increase its readability and engagement.
Grammar and Accuracy
Pay careful attention to minor grammatical inaccuracies and typo errors to polish your writing. Correcting these can greatly enhance the overall impression of your essay.
Structure
Your essay's structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively addresses the prompt.
Logic and Cohesion
The logical progression of ideas throughout your essay, particularly how each body paragraph supports your thesis, is commendable.
Example Relevance
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which is crucial for task response. Expanding on these examples would make your argument even stronger.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: