People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #life #quality #times

It is argued that people possess better

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

of living nowadays compared to their ancestors. From my perspective, I strongly agree with

this

statement and the following essay is going to discuss the reasons. There are various factors to explain why the communities now own a better quality of life.

To begin

with,

comprehensive

Correct article usage

a comprehensive

show examples

health care system plays a vital role in enhancing people’s life span. In the past, if a person was sick, it was extremely for him to acquire medicine to treat his disease.

By contrast

, it is very easy to access health assistance in the current society.

Moreover

, advanced technology

also

provides a series of benefits.

For example

, there

are

Change the verb form

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plenty of transportation that we can apply.

Therefore

, travelling around the world is no longer a mission impossible.

Instead

, it only costs us a few hours

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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we can visit any country. Many more reasons can illustrate why

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society has better

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

now.

Firstly

, the internet

have

Change the verb form

has

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changed the world in recent decades by giving us a virtual platform to access numerous websites. If a man encounters an obstacle, he just

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to search

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

answer on the internet and he can handle it very simply.

Secondly

, children have received a higher quality education lately and it helps them to become scholars in various areas.

Hence

, they can devote themselves to

improve

Wrong verb form

improving

show examples

the public in plenty of

aspect

Change to a plural noun

aspects

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. In conclusion, I agree people live a better life in 21 century because they possess many benefits

such

health

Correct article usage

a health

show examples

care system, advanced technology, and good education.

Submitted by wanchu.nien on Fri Jul 22 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting the usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, there are more and more apartment buildings. Do you think the advantages outweigh the advantages?

Some high school students work part-time in addition to going to school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of high school students having part-time jobs? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.