Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

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Film stars and music

celebrities

may earn a great deal of

money

and live in luxurious surroundings, indeed.

However

, many of them would experience unhappy lives, and I agree with

this

opinion. There are several reasons why famous and rich

people

would still have a chance to live unpleasant lives.

First

money

does not always bring happiness. In fact, we can gain joyful moments through simple things which are the things that we will not have even through

money

such

as having quality time with our beloved ones, having good health, eating some delicious meals, and so on.

On the other hand

, some film stars and

celebrities

seem to have less privacy as they are well-known in public. Since

people

are likely to have eyes on them, they would find it difficult to enjoy their

life

For instance

, when some

celebrities

want to go on holiday with their family to a certain place,

people

in those areas tend to follow them whenever and wherever they are or might bother them by taking pictures of their private

life

secretly. When it happens, it would lead those

celebrities

to have uncomfortable times.

Furthermore

, they might feel depressed and frustrated. To sum up, even

thoughthey

Correct your spelling

though they

have lots of

money

and live in luxurious surroundings, we can still feel

displeasing

Wrong verb form

displeased

show examples

life

because it is still hard to become public

figures

Fix the agreement mistake

figure

show examples

In addition

, they are still human beings or ordinary

people

just like us, and perhaps some of them are living

complicated

Add an article

a complicated

show examples

life

Submitted by melindahthrsyaa on Fri Jul 22 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

249 words

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Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that charities should help people in need no matter where those people are in the world,Others feel that these organizations should only serve the people living in the country where they are based Discuss both sides and give your own view.

internet users as percentage of population in 3 countries from 1999 to 2009

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threanted to the point of extenction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with the problem.

Some people prefer to live in hot climates. whereas others love the lifestyles in countries with cold climate. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Students should have physical activity as a compulsory subject at school on a regular basis. Why is it beneficial for students to participate in physical activity? Which sports do you think are the safest physical activity?