Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

#film #stars #music #celebrities #money #surroundings #lives #price

Film stars and music

celebrities

may earn a great deal of

money

and live in luxurious surroundings, indeed.

However

, many of them would experience unhappy lives, and I agree with

this

opinion. There are several reasons why famous and rich

people

would still have a chance to live unpleasant lives.

First

money

does not always bring happiness. In fact, we can gain joyful moments through simple things which are the things that we will not have even through

money

such

as having quality time with our beloved ones, having good health, eating some delicious meals, and so on.

On the other hand

, some film stars and

celebrities

seem to have less privacy as they are well-known in public. Since

people

are likely to have eyes on them, they would find it difficult to enjoy their

life

For instance

, when some

celebrities

want to go on holiday with their family to a certain place,

people

in those areas tend to follow them whenever and wherever they are or might bother them by taking pictures of their private

life

secretly. When it happens, it would lead those

celebrities

to have uncomfortable times.

Furthermore

, they might feel depressed and frustrated. To sum up, even

thoughthey

Correct your spelling

though they

have lots of

money

and live in luxurious surroundings, we can still feel

displeasing

Wrong verb form

displeased

show examples

life

because it is still hard to become public

figures

Fix the agreement mistake

figure

show examples

In addition

, they are still human beings or ordinary

people

just like us, and perhaps some of them are living

complicated

Add an article

a complicated

show examples

life

Submitted by melindahthrsyaa on Fri Jul 22 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

249 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Other disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, it is pervasive to have people from two different generations mix in ‎the same workplace. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this ‎situation? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.‎

The school library is seeking applicants for a job over summer break. Write a letter to the library’s manager, in your letter include: – A brief introduction of yourself – Your experience and relevant skills – Why you want the job

People doing dangerous sports activities like scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports.do you agree or disagree?