IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Advanced technology has brought forward immense opportunities with one being, the ability to connect with
people
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
. It is no secret that multitudes believe that social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook, Twitter or Instagram have a damaging impact on youngsters from our society and their ability to establish personal relationships.
On the contrary
Linking Words
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, others would argue, stating the opposite. In my opinion, the negative effects of
such
Linking Words
 sites outweigh the benefits. Inevitably, social
media
Use synonyms
 has provided massive exposure to young
people
Use synonyms
 which allows teenagers to meet various
people
Use synonyms
 worldwide and even befriend them. It is vital to discuss the immense pros social
media
Use synonyms
 provides when it comes to social networking as well.
This
Linking Words
 is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
especially
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
 who struggle with social anxiety or are not surrounded
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 of their interest.
Similarly
Linking Words
, many online businesses have boomed as social
media
Use synonyms
 has provided entrepreneurs to reach potential customers on a global level through online marketing.
However
Linking Words
, many firmly believe that forming healthy and successful relationships require more than just
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
show examples
 communication from day to day. Meeting
people
Use synonyms
 in person allows you to observe and evaluate
people
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their best and worst times.
Consequently
Linking Words
, interactions with the wrong
people
Use synonyms
 can lead to dangerous and
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 situations that could easily be avoided in real
life
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as scams. It is more easy and
frequent
Correct quantifier usage
more frequent
show examples
 for fraudulent scams to occur online.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Correct your spelling
cyberbullying
show examples
cyber bullying
Correct your spelling
cyberbullying
show examples
 is another major phenomenon witnessed
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily that strongly facilitates my belief as well as many others. It is not unusual to find yourself in harmful circumstances on
such
Linking Words
 global sites which can deteriorate
people
Use synonyms
’s mental health, leading to increased suicide rates. There is no coincidence that depression is on the rise in our young generation where social
media
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial role in
life
Use synonyms
. To conclude, social
media
Use synonyms
 has become a part of everyday
life
Use synonyms
 as it provides you
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 convenience to connect with
people
Use synonyms
 worldwide and formulate friendships.
However
Linking Words
, in my perspective, relationships are more likely to be
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in real
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 helps us avoid potential harm that could occur online.
Submitted by wahyuandriyan1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: