IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many developing countries, there is a problem of declining quality of air and water. What are the causes for this and what measures could be taken to prevent this?

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In the Third-world
countries
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, a poor quality of
air
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 and water has always been a concern. A poor sewerage system and pollution are the main reasons for
this
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 issue.
However
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, implementing certain policies at the national
level
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 can help improve the situation.
This
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 essay will look at these causes in more detail,
as well as
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 some solutions will be presented too.
To begin
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 with,
a
Correct article usage
the
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 low quality of breathable and drinkable natural
resources
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 in developing
countries
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 is
due to
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 a poor drainage system and increased levels of dust and pollutants in the
air
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. Most developing
countries
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 possess ample amount of natural
resources
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,
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apply
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 but suffer from a lack of the required technology to utilize these
resources
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 appropriately.
For example
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, less consideration is given to the drainage system and waste disposal during town planning in these
countries
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.
This
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 results in most of the litter and sewerage water being disposed of in the lakes and rivers, contributing to a low standard of water supply in the houses. These nations are
also
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 suffering from polluted
air
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 and
this
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 is mainly owing to the smoke coming from factories and old cars. As an example, for the past many years, one major city in my country has been listed in the top 5 most polluted cities in the world. During winters, the smoke in the
air
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 in that city combines with the fog and creates "smog".
This
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 causes a hike in respiratory diseases during those months and
also
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 leads to many road accidents
due to
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 poor visibility. As a solution to the above problems, governments of these less-developed
countries
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 should implement strategies at the national
level
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 for waste recycling and pollution reduction. If designated recycle bins were to be installed in every residential and commercial area, the residents would be more likely to use these services and avoid littering. Reducing smoke from industries and vehicles is another attempt that can be made towards a greener environment.
Also
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, if the concerned authorities take strict measures against the violators of these rules, everyone would be bound to play their part in
this
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 mutual goal. In conclusion, going green is a global aim and taking steps towards a cleaner environment would ensure a healthy society for us and the coming generations. Going smokeless, aiming to recycle garbage, avoiding littering, and mindful use of
resources
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 should be aimed at a personal and national
level
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.
Lastly
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, change always occurs first at an individual
level
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 and every citizen should play his part in
this
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.

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relevant specific examples
Try to give more relevant and specific examples. The example mentioned could be more closely tied to the causes or solutions discussed.
clear comprehensive ideas
Expanding on each point with more in-depth analysis and evidence will make your arguments more compelling and thorough.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help guide the reader through your essay.
logical structure
The essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rapid industrialization
  • emission
  • pollutants
  • greenhouse gases
  • urbanization
  • population growth
  • environmental regulations
  • enforcement
  • agricultural runoffs
  • renewable energy sources
  • waste management
  • public awareness
  • ecosystems
  • filters
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