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Nowadays people depend on technology in their free time. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #technology #time #development
There is often much debate around the fact that
people
 today spend
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 majority of
Correct your spelling
free time
Correct pronoun usage
their freetime
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freetime
Correct your spelling
free time
 on
technology
.
This
essays
Fix the agreement mistake
essay
show examples
 will
Correct your spelling
discuss
show examples
discus
Correct your spelling
discuss
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 the benefits and drawbacks of
this
 trend. On the one hand, it doubtlessly persuades
that technological devices
Change the determiner
that technological device
those technological devices
show examples
play
Add the particle
to play
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 an important role in modern life.
Firstly
, they find it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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easy to approach the diversity and interesting content. Internet-connected devices allow
people
 to reach new
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
,
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 gain a viewpoint of
difference
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different
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 knowledge.
Moreover
, it
satified
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satisfied
satisfies
people
’s needs for
entertainments
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entertainment
show examples
,
Correct your spelling
especially
esspecially
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especially
 the introverted-who enjoy their own company.
Finally
,
people
 who are
similarly
 used to
technology
 can have a good laugh by playing video games, surfing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media or even online chatting with friends.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 gains some negative
site
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sites
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 for too much
used
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use
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 of
technology
.
Intially
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Initially
, the unstopped creative content on the internet may have a bad
affects
Correct the article-noun agreement
affect
show examples
 on users if it is not controlled.
Furthermore
, the
overused
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overuse
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 of
technology
 lead to a
sendentary
Correct your spelling
sedentary
 lifestyle, which
Change the verb form
results
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result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
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 many diseases
such
 as
obessiy
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obesity
,
carduivascular
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cardiovascular
,… Depended on
hightech
Correct your spelling
high-tech
high tech
 devices will ruin family times and
effect
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affect
show examples
against
Change preposition
apply
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many psychological issues,
For instance
, some research find out that the more time you are glued to the screen, the more depression when
people
 less
communication
Replace the word
communicate
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 face to face. In conclusion, the
incressing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 reliance on
technology
 is
Add an article
a term
the term
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term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of its variety as well as
accessbility
Correct your spelling
accessibility
.
However
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harm to health and relationship. Nowadays
people
 depend on
technology
 in their free time. Is
this
 a positive or negative development?
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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