Developing medical treatments and medications is expensive. Some people think that it is better to spend the money on health-oriented preventive education. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#treatments #medications #people #money #education #outweigh

Thanks to the development of medical science,

people

have a higher probability to be cured of diseases than before.

However

, some

people

argue that the cost is too high to save

everyone

, they think that instilling a perspective of prevention in

everyone

is a better choice.

This

essay will discuss the pros and cons of the issue. On the one hand, it is difficult to make

everyone

understand the professional knowledge of health ,

otherwise

Add a comma

,otherwise

show examples

everyone

can become a doctor.

In addition

everyone

is a different individual, we can't assure that the same healthy knowledge is effective for

everyone

For example

, the disease might have different symptoms

Change preposition

show examples

different

people

. If we diagnose it based on our fundamental knowledge without the help of a professional doctor, it may cause some serious results.

On the other hand

, educating children on the right health concept since they were young can reduces the chance of getting sick effectively. They will have a more healthy diet and do exercise regularly so that their immune system will be much better. A lot of research shows that poor eating and living habit are the main reasons that cause

people

to get illnesses.

Therefore

, if

people

can live in a healthy way, they can not only become healthier but

also

can save lots of money using for medical purposes. As far as I am concerned,

although

improving the healthy concept of

people

has several positive effects, we still can't stop developing new medical treatments. The best way is to do these two things at the same time so that we can reduce the risk of virus intrusion significantly.

Submitted by wanyc90 on Sat Jul 23 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Task 2: Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors, such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people suppose that effort and discipline play as important role in achieving success in their life, while others believed that money and appearance are two aspect affecting to people’s success. In this essay, I will discuss advantages and drawbacks of this phenomenon and give my own point.
7
band
Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some say that educating boys and girls in a single-gender school is more beneficial, while others feel that mixing both genders is a better idea. I believe that while separation can reduce the amount of classroom disruption, mixed schools have a better impact on both genders because they prepare them for their future in the real world.
4.5
band
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are groups of people who thinks that it is a good thing to exchange findings and information of scientific research, new business ideas and projects and also new study proposals to the world. Whereas, some assert that there is also some crucial information that can't be good to share with public. I Agree with later viewpoint because some information is to important so its not a good idea to shared openly.
<4
band
The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think that it is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believed that parents are to blame for not looking after their children’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
First of all, we would like to send our gratitude for your trust to BGN Law Firm Advocates-Legal Consultants to handle alleged criminal offense of illegal possession in plantation area, criminal damage such as cutting down trees, and threatening conducted by group of Tinokah people in PT Bridgestone Sumatra Rubber Estate Plantation area in Sipispis (“BSRE”)
5.5
band
The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that youth crimes can be reduced in the society by teaching their parents how to nourish their children in the right ways. Although parents’ behaviours affect the children much, people can not deny that there are many other impacts that change the way children act too. Therefore, I partially agree with that opinion.

Developing medical treatments and medications is expensive. Some people think that it is better to spend the money on health-oriented preventive education. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Task 2: Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors, such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think that it is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believed that parents are to blame for not looking after their children’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?