Developing medical treatments and medications is expensive. Some people think that it is better to spend the money on health-oriented preventive education. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#treatments #medications #people #money #education #outweigh

Thanks to the development of medical science,

people

have a higher probability to be cured of diseases than before.

However

, some

people

argue that the cost is too high to save

everyone

, they think that instilling a perspective of prevention in

everyone

is a better choice.

This

essay will discuss the pros and cons of the issue. On the one hand, it is difficult to make

everyone

understand the professional knowledge of health ,

otherwise

Add a comma

,otherwise

show examples

everyone

can become a doctor.

In addition

everyone

is a different individual, we can't assure that the same healthy knowledge is effective for

everyone

For example

, the disease might have different symptoms

Change preposition

show examples

different

people

. If we diagnose it based on our fundamental knowledge without the help of a professional doctor, it may cause some serious results.

On the other hand

, educating children on the right health concept since they were young can reduces the chance of getting sick effectively. They will have a more healthy diet and do exercise regularly so that their immune system will be much better. A lot of research shows that poor eating and living habit are the main reasons that cause

people

to get illnesses.

Therefore

, if

people

can live in a healthy way, they can not only become healthier but

also

can save lots of money using for medical purposes. As far as I am concerned,

although

improving the healthy concept of

people

has several positive effects, we still can't stop developing new medical treatments. The best way is to do these two things at the same time so that we can reduce the risk of virus intrusion significantly.

Submitted by wanyc90 on Sat Jul 23 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Developing medical treatments and medications is expensive. Some people think that it is better to spend the money on health-oriented preventive education. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government's responsibility. Other believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problems with obesity. This problem effect to the children and adults. What are the reasons for this? and how could it be tackle.