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Band 7.5

Many think that governments should fund programs in search of life on other planets. However, others believe governments should focus on unresolved issues of the planet. Provide your opinion and discuss both views.

#governments #fund #programs #search #life #planets #focus #planet
Many people including a few scientists believe that authorities should invest capital to search for an alternative place for human residence other than the dirt for a better future. Others think that there are many other matters that exist which are unresolved rather than living issues. From my perspective, the ministry should focus on solving other unsolved things which are bothering humankind rather than only focusing on searching for another living planet. On the one hand, there is no doubt that we are facing land issues for living because of overpopulation. In some countries like India and China, Where individuals are living in large numbers, face many difficulties which could lead to appalling repercussions in different ways like poverty.
Moreover
, if the administration spends cash to find other alternative planets rather than sand, it could be beneficial. If they are successful in finding another planet which is suitable for humans
then
 it can be advantageous for most of the masses as they will be able to get more capacity to build their own houses. That could
also
 solve many other dilemmas as well like deforestation, increased conflicts and the risk of large-scale disasters like pandemics.
On the other hand
, there are many other troubles that need to be solved rather than only concentrating on finding distance for human living.
Additionally
, obstacles relating the juvenile education, climate change, Hunger etc are quite dangerous for mankind. These complications can be solved if the states give proper attention and actions. In my point of view, solving
this
 complication should be the first priority for the regions for the better life of folks.
To conclude
, I accept that it is significant to solve the living distance issue because of overpopulation and for that politics should check to find other living areas for people. But I firmly believe that there are
also
 many major disputes are there in the world which need to be solved first.
Submitted by praveenmodi28596 on

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task achievement
Strengthen your thesis statement in the introduction. It should clearly present the main argument of your essay.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations to add depth to your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Improve your transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas logically.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity. This includes avoiding run-on sentences and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your concluding statement to reiterate your main argument and summarize the key points effectively.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, showing your ability to consider different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your argument.
coherence cohesion
The main points in your paragraphs are clearly stated, making your argument easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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