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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Government investment in the art such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #art #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
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Whatever governments should spend a huge part of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 budget on the arts or public
services
Use synonyms
 can be a serious bone of contention. I firmly believe that governments’ sources should allocate to
art
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 and it is not considered a waste of money . To commence, public
services
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such
Linking Words
 as health care
services
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 and its relevant
services
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 like well-equipped clinics make a more significant contribution to the quality of peoples’ life.
This
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 means that if the government’s budget is not appropriated for health care
services
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, it will have dire consequences for
society
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’s health.
Likewise
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, the educational system is considered the backbone of each
society
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. It follows that the only avenue by which a
society
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 can make a breakthrough is funding
for example
Linking Words
 a flourishing
society
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 in which educational cost is of less concern. Despite the importance of financing public
services
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,
art
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such
Linking Words
 as
music
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 and theatre play a crucial role in each
society
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.
First
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 and foremost,
art
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 can make a profit for
society
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 by attending theatres and concerts as well as visiting
music
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 or watching a live performance. On top of that, only through
art
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such
Linking Words
 as
music
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 and theatre can the image of the country's descent
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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introduce the valuable culture to other countries. The primary example that shows it is
music
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 and theatre are typical of each county and should be preserved by the governments’ resources. In conclusion, while there are clear benefits in a large amount of investment going into public
services
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, I take the view that spending money on
art
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 is controversial over a waste of money.
Submitted by farnooshaliazami on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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