Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

These days, a smartphone is one of the most crucial factors in part of people's lives, especially the new generation. The first thing that
children
do when they
woke
Correct your spelling
wake
show examples
up is to check their
self-phones
Correct your spelling
phones
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to update data
while
they
were
Wrong verb form
are
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sleeping. In my opinion, the disadvantages of
this
behaviour outweigh its benefits and the reasons to support
this
argument will give in
this
essay. Nowadays, most people
are owner
Wrong verb form
own
show examples
mobile phones even
children
because, in a Covid-19 situation, they need to use them for online study. They,
however
, didn't spend the most time in the education field, they usually spend most of their free time in the entertainment field
such
as playing games. It is very easy to play games wherever and whenever they want.
For example
, when my nephew
visited
Wrong verb form
visits
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me at my house, he always plays games on his mobile phone. He seems not
interesting
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interested
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when I ask him to do other activities else. Regards
this
behaviour of my nephew, I think
this
is a negative development because it affects both his physical and mental
health
of
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apply
show examples
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. The former is obvious which is his weight increasing very fast because of fewer activities to move his body. It causes his mental
health
that is
lower in patience than usual, he cannot wait for something and is frustrated.
Hence
, if
children
spend a lot of time on smartphones, they will absolutely get
worst
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worse
show examples
on
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in
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their
health
. In conclusion,
children
spending hours on
self-phone
Correct your spelling
their phones
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the worst choice for me because the
health
problems both physical and mental will affect them in the future.
Submitted by PM on

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coherence and cohesion
Provide a clearer and more detailed introduction and conclusion to frame your arguments effectively.
task achievement
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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