It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and thier personal lives. Advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.

#people #risks #lives #thier #trend

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It is true that a higher risk means a higher profit. It is often argued that taking

risks

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in both personal

life

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and occupational

life

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is crucial for

individuals

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. The main advantages of

this

Linking Words

trend

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are

people

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learn a

lot

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things

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from

this

Linking Words

trend

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and

also

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make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

big changes in their

life

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. The main drawbacks are that

individuals

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lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

their

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life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

due to

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taking

risks

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and have many chances of losing their money

along with

Linking Words

bankruptcy. I will explain my reason for it in the upcoming paragraphs. There are many advantages of taking perils in both personal and professional

life

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. First and foremost,

individuals

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learn a

lot

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things

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from

this

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trend

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In other words

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, if they take

risks

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in their

life

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by doing some work

then

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they only can understand the benefits and cons of

this

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phenomenon.

For example

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, taking

risks

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in gambling and investing a

lot

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amount

Change to a plural noun

amounts

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for expected higher outcomes make a big change in

people

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life

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if they win.

Moreover

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, without taking perils we cannot learn new

things

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this

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is because

people

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cannot get anything without fail once in their

life

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On the other hand

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, there are some disadvantages to

this

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trend

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Firstly

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, some

individuals

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lost their

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life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. To illustrate

this

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, few

people

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take

risks

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and jump from high altitudes for only permanent happiness,

as a result

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, they

lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

their

life

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Secondly

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people

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fall into bankruptcy,

people

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take

risks

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and take high loans from banks for their personal business

due to

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low production they face difficulties

to pay

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paying

show examples

high amounts of the mortgage.

Furthermore

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, in

gambling

Add a comma

gambling,

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if they lose

then

Linking Words

they lose the amount which they invested for high outcomes. But these problems can be eliminated by careful and

understood about

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understanding

show examples

every step. In conclusion, taking perils in both occupational and personal

life

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have advantages

as well as

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disadvantages.

However

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, in my opinion, I think that it has more benefits than drawbacks because

people

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learn a

lot

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things

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and have many chances to make their

life

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better

along with

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chances of winning a huge amount.

Submitted by alamskarbaz829 on Sun Jul 24 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction provides a clear overview of the essay's argument and that the conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.

task achievement

Expand on the main points to provide a more comprehensive discussion, and provide relevant examples that directly support the arguments made.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

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It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and thier personal lives. Advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids.

Studying art in school improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skill. Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweight its drawbacks?