IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

#people #parks #sports #facilities #centers #town #time #doo
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Nowadays different entertainments are provided for individual’s free time. Some people think it is important to have more sports facilities, while
on the other hand
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 others argue, that shopping centres are more important and interesting to spend their free time. I completely opine that parks and sports centres should be opened in towns.
This
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 essay will state some valid evidence for the same. To embark, to advance a convincing theory I could deal whit, the advantages of sports equipment.
First
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 and foremost,
this
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 leads to a healthy society. It is crystal clear that, due to
this
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 change, humans will be more interested in exercising.
Moreover
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, due to the advent of technology and car, people’s activities have decreased and it is contributing factor to many diseases. It was written in a magazine that bicycles have ill effects on the economy on the grounds that fossil fuel won’t be utilized, no more cars will be bought and etcetera.
on the other hand
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, for each branch of
Correct your spelling
Macdonald
Mackdonald
Add a comma
,Mackdonald
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 there will be 3 dentists and 4 surgeons.
This
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 is how we understand the importance of exercising.
Furthermore
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, when you go to a shopping centre you will spend a lot of money even on the goods you don’t need.
In addition
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 to what I have just said, there are many online shops that you can order from them. In the forthcoming; paragraph I could deal with the benefits of shopping malls. The
first
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 thing I should mention is, that even window shopping is really fun.
Additionally
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, you can enjoy having a cup of coffee while many people are buying products. To conclude, a healthier lifestyle leads to a longer and better life,
as a
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result
Add a comma
,result
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 we need more gyms in the city.
Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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