IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that school uniforms are unnecessary and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #school #uniforms
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No one can deny that
school
Use synonyms
 is the social institution where children learn social
as well as
Linking Words
 moral values.Few people think that academy uniforms should be banned as it is not so necessary.I totally contradict the statement. To commence with, the apparel codes have a sense of uniformity and equality.To explain it,children with the same rigid play the role of unity in them.All recruitment is equal no matter from which background they belong.
For example
Linking Words
,most of the institutions that have the same attires at
school
Use synonyms
 have more disciplined and well-mannered
admission
Fix the agreement mistake
admissions
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 because of equality and unity.
As a result
Linking Words
,it is important to have the same systematic code in schools
Secondly
Linking Words
, money and
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
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 can be saved.To elaborate ,parents can save their money and time as they don't need to spend a huge amount of money on their brand clothes and save their day.They have a
school
Use synonyms
 homogeneous and parents buy one or two dresses for the whole year.
For instance
Linking Words
,in a
,
Remove the comma
apply
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survey it was found that
last
Linking Words
 year around 2.6 million rupees
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 spent by admission on their brand wardrobe only in America.
Hence
Linking Words
, a simple reliable parent's burden can be reduced
further
Linking Words
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, an orderly prevents from being bullied and saves energy and
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
.To explicate it,apparel is the main reason for being bullied. As kids wear a brand dress they discriminate against other recruitment for their garb and even more moment and energy can be saved as they wear the same suit energy and hour on choosing a wardrobe could be saved. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, in considering the advantages of uniforms my opinion is that
school
Use synonyms
 dresses should be made compulsory.
Submitted by kaurgurdeep00 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the ideas more coherently and with better transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion provide a clear and comprehensive overview of the essay's main points.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support the main points in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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