Some industrialized countries have serious environmental problems. The damage to the environment is an inevitable result when a country tends to improve the standard of living. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #damage #environment #country

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Like the United Kingdom, many industrialized countries suffer from

the

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apply

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serious environmental problems nowadays. From my point of view, I do not think that making a better

life

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will actually

cause

Verb problem

make

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the environment worse. In the past 50 years, more and more industrial products, which are efficient and good for our

life

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, were created,

such

Linking Words

the

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apply

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railways,

the

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apply

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airplanes

Change the spelling

aeroplanes

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and

the

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apply

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cars. These advanced tools are often driven by oil, in which process many toxic gases could discharge out to pollute the air. They have provided much convenience for us.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, we could completely exploit some renewable energy to replace

the

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apply

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oil-driving tools.

Firstly

Linking Words

, some car factories should seek some approaches to develop the driven system using

the

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apply

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electricity, which is an alternative to an oil-driven system. In the meantime, we can generate electricity by some green, renewable resources, like wind, hydro and

the

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apply

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solar power.

In addition

Linking Words

, countries all over the world should collaborate together to make laws and policies to prevent the environment from

being

Verb problem

becoming

show examples

worse. More and more environmental consortiums will be founded in the future, to gather the intelligence of

the

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apply

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human beings to achieve the goal of making a better ecosystem. Only through the awareness of environmental protection increases day by day, can we preserve our beautiful earth and

life

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. So, leading a sustainable lifestyle will be more and more important in the future. In conclusion, to live a better

life

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is actually not

opponent

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an opponent

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to protecting the environment. I truly believe that we can even improve our

life

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on the basis of taking advantage of the technologies and the increasing notion of

low carbon

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low-carbon

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lifestyles.

Submitted by Rolph on Sun Jul 24 2022

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coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas. However, the coherence and logical structure of the essay could be improved to enhance the overall flow and clarity of the argument.

task response

The response addresses the task sufficiently and offers clear and comprehensive ideas. To further enhance the task achievement, ensure that the argument is well-structured and directly supports the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

272 words

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Nowaways, more teenagers want to become famous actors or singers. Why do you think this is happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?