Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate, and give your personal view

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Nowadays, keeping different species of

animals

has been altered to be a common behaviour among society without considering its consequences. Yet, there remains a contentious debate as to whether it is a beneficial manner or not. I strongly disagree with

this

action and will support my perspective with more details and practical examples.

Firstly

, holding

animals

in captivity is an invasion of animal rights.

This

is an indisputable fact that

animals

belong to the natural ecosystem to breed and live freely

while

keeping them in cages can interrupt their true instinct resulting in some insurmountable effects on the environment

as well as

environmental degradation;

also

, it is a challenging concept for the living species to adapt the unsuitable condition and change their normal living habits . One particularly salient example is birds in cages that are not able to fly freely and experience the real-time world; it can lead to detrimental influences on the ecosystem.

Consequently

, it is not fair to capture different living species without considering their natural habitats, which is a highly dangerous action for the environment.

On the other hand

, keeping them is the most influential way to protect endangered ones. Some creatures are not able to survive without the help of mankind considering the huge variations that occur in the environment

that is

not suitable for them to tolerate

while

keeping them is an effective alternative to help them continue their life without extinction.

Furthermore

, they will be able to experience a safe atmosphere with no stress of finding enough food to survive

along with

a secure zone to grow up.

In addition

, keeping

animals

can be a potent element in helping them to survive; protecting them from harmful phenomena. As a way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm that

this

manner can result in various pros and cons for both

animals

and humans, but I strongly believe that its disadvantages outweigh its advantages; meanwhile, it is highly recommended to provide cognitive processes to better clarify the outcomes of

this

action for the people.

Submitted by mortaza.ghamari on Mon Jul 25 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph is well-organized with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Make sure to connect ideas coherently throughout the essay.

task achievement

You have addressed the prompt comprehensively, covering both sides of the debate and providing a clear personal view. However, make sure to focus on directly answering the prompt in a clear and organized manner.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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