Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services? Discuss the above and give your opinion using examples.

It is undeniable that education and healthcare are getting expensive nowadays, which leads to debates about whether these should be financially supported by governments or should they be fully responsible at the hands of individuals. I strongly believe these sectors are supposed to be supported by the authorities as
this
could lead to lots of benefits for the citizens. First and foremost, poor families can have an opportunity to send their children to school as the education will be funded by the government. By allowing
this
, younger generations will be fully educated in order to shape better generations for the future of the nation.
This
could not only help the country’s development by increasing the number of future leaders
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but can
also
decrease the rate of poverty in the country.
Moreover
, if medicine and hospital facilities are free of charge,
this
could lead to a change in the country’s development as
this
will produce more healthy workers.
For example
,
this
can lessen people’s burden to pay for the overpriced costs and
promote
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
more unhealthy people to do their
checkup
Fix the agreement mistake
checkups
show examples
at the hospital.
Therefore
, the health of the citizens will be improved, so they can be more productive during their work. As workers are now more committed to their work, more companies will have a productive outcome, which will lead to an increase in economic growth. In conclusion, schools and hospitals should be the responsibility of the government for the sake of the nation’s development, as
this
will give a lot of advantages by taking good care of the citizens and future generations.
Submitted by alisyashazzy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay effectively presents the argument for government-funded education and healthcare. However, it could benefit from including a counterargument or addressing the other side of the debate. Consider discussing potential drawbacks or challenges of government funding to provide a more balanced view.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples or data. You mentioned how health care being free might decrease the burden, but providing statistical data or specific examples from countries where such systems are in place could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. While the essay is mostly well-structured, transitions between some ideas can be improved to enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay clearly outlines the benefits of government-funded education and healthcare. The ideas are presented logically and are easy to follow, indicating strong coherence.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the framework of the argument and effectively summarizing the discussion.
task achievement
The points made about increasing future leadership, reducing poverty, and enhancing economic growth through education and healthcare funding are relevant and align well with the main arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • equity
  • social justice
  • economic benefits
  • productive workforce
  • quality of life
  • social mobility
  • personal responsibility
  • overuse
  • inefficiencies
  • feasibility
  • implementation challenges
  • sustainable funding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: