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Band 7.5

28.Some people argue that the development of technology is making our lives too complex, and the solution is for everyone to accept a simpler way of life without using that technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #development #technology #lives #life
Some people believe these days our
lives
 are becoming more complicated
due to
 the advancement of
technology
, and that we should try to avoid using
technology
 in order to create a simple lifestyle.I strongly disagree with
this
 statement, in my view,
technology
 makes our
lives
 easier and more comfortable. In today's age,
technology
 has changed many things in our
lives
 in an efficient way.
Moreover
, the biggest example that had a sustainable impact on us is our phones. Mobile phones allow you to contact whomever you want at any time,
in addition
, news on social media is spread rapidly which spreads more awareness among people.
Additionally
, another convenient development is the ability to order anything with a click only.
In contrast
, back
then
 we had to walk to the store to purchase something and travel long distances to speak or see someone, which makes it more complex and a waste of time.
Furthermore
, the power of
technology
 benefits us in other aspects too,
in particular
, health.
For instance
, with the help of it, scientists are able to create more effective medication to cure sickness,
such
 as
Alzheimer
Change noun form
Alzheimer's
show examples
 disease.
Also
, some companies like GE Healthcare invent medical machines with the help of
this
 developed
technology
, these machines scan the patient to determine their status. Not only does it benefit our well being it
also
 saves animals because artificial intelligence can simulate how drugs react in a human body, that way it reduces the need for animal testing that leads to harmful outcomes and gives accurate results. In conclusion, the contribution
technology
 has to our society is considerable. It improves our
lives
 and makes it easier in different ways like health and everyday challenges.
Submitted by shadaataria1 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, use linking words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' to more effectively guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
For a stronger task achievement, consider addressing potential counterarguments and refuting them to provide a more balanced view.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position regarding the topic and provides a brief overview of your main argument, which is well done!
relevant specific examples
The examples you provide are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively, particularly the ways technology has been beneficial.
introduction conclusion present
You have made a strong conclusion that succinctly summarizes your main points and reinforces your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mental health
  • connectivity
  • information overload
  • mindfulness
  • face-to-face interactions
  • emotional well-being
  • efficiency
  • online banking
  • navigation systems
  • environmental sustainability
  • energy consumption
  • resource depletion
  • integral to progress
  • quality of life
  • modern conveniences
  • technological development
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