IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern world, technology has changed the
way
Use synonyms
 many
people
Use synonyms
 connect to each other. It has developed
new
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
various forms of
relationships
Use synonyms
 in our society, and it influences significantly how
people
Use synonyms
 socialize. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 development helps many individuals to manage their
connections
Use synonyms
 in a good
way
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I think that it can have some drawbacks too. The state-of-art developments, which have provided new types of
relationships
Use synonyms
 have affected societies and their
way
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
connections
Replace the word
connecting
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, with the advent of a virtual environment, many
people
Use synonyms
change
Wrong verb form
have changed
show examples
 their attention and interest in
this
Linking Words
 new form.
For example
Linking Words
, chat apps are very common among families,
almost
Correct word choice
and almost
show examples
 everyone
tent
Correct your spelling
tends
show examples
 to use them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, these new apps would change considerably the
way
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 make new
relationships
Use synonyms
. In my view, there are many advantages associated with modern technology in terms of
people
Use synonyms
's social life.
First,
Linking Words
it provides an environment where many
people
Use synonyms
 can make
connections
Use synonyms
 with their friends and families from very long distances.
For instance
Linking Words
, these days, there are a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 who work abroad or study. These ones can easily call their parents and be happy.
In addition
Linking Words
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology expanded business
relationships
Use synonyms
 between countries.
This
Linking Words
 means many poorer countries can join the international trade.
Finally
Linking Words
, It's true that there can be some drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as less interest in face-to-face
connections
Use synonyms
 or some criminal activities, but
overall
Linking Words
, it can bring lots of benefits to the world. In conclusion, modern devices have changed our social life and
also
Linking Words
 affected us in various forms.
While
Linking Words
 there are some disadvantages to
this
Linking Words
 situation, many
people
Use synonyms
 can benefit from new types of
relationships
Use synonyms
 they can have.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Improve sentence formation and expression of your points. At times, the used sentences are either grammatically incorrect or awkward, resulting in a slight misunderstanding of the conveyed points.
content
Provide more specific examples to support your points. You have used general information for examples that could be made more compelling and relevant with specific statistics or concrete scenarios.
structure
Some of the arguments made in the essay, while valid, seem to deviate slightly from the main prompt: 'In what ways has technology affected types of relationships people make?' Be sure to stay focused.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
What to do next:
Look at other essays: