Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastimes than spending all day indoors. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #computers #entertainment #sports #part #pastimes #indoors

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Without a doubt, modern technology has transformed how we live nowadays. Teenagers, who mostly stay indoors these days, are dependent on electronic gadgets for their entertainment, I would argue that they should play outdoors

sports

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rather than playing

video

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games

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at home all day.

To begin

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with, I would argue that adolescents usually spend a good amount of their

time

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each day learning at school while seated.

Therefore

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, It is important that they undertake physical activities of any kind to stay fit and healthy.

For example

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, schools in my country, India, have personal training sessions in the mornings, making sure that the

students

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are both physically and mentally fit.

In contrast

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, if adequate attention is not directed to the physical health of

students

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, many of them can become fat and obese.

As a result

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, it will have a rather negative effect on their

all-round

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all-around

show examples

development.

In addition

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to that, I believe that

students

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should spend a reasonable amount of

time

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playing physical

sports

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rather than playing

video

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games

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on computers or gaming consoles. The reason for

this

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is that playing real

sports

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can warrant them to communicate better with their fellow peers while staying healthy and mentally fit. To illustrate

this

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point, as per a report from a gazette newspaper, children who play outdoor

sports

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are more likely to build better professional careers than those who do not.

On the contrary

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, if

students

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use most of their free

time

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playing

video

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games

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, they would face problems associated with building friends in the real world. In conclusion, while a plethora of adolescents

spend

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spends

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much of their free

time

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playing

video

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games

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on gaming consoles, it is important that they should play indoor

games

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as well because it can help them to build a great personality and develop better relationships with friends.

Submitted by utsavchandel26sep on Mon Jul 25 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

dependent
computers
electronic entertainment
outside
sports
traditional pastimes
excessive
negative impacts
physical health
mental health
promote
overall well-being
play outdoors
read books
socialize
develop
balance
holistic development

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Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastimes than spending all day indoors. Do you agree or disagree?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

13/05 Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Q. Some people say that web content should be used to instruct children. Others think that it is not helpful in an educational setting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.