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Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
A
Correct pronoun usage
It a
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 highly controversial
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whether
people
 should face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an unpleasant reality,
such
 as a bad occupation and lack of money or manage to improve it. I will examine both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 and
then
 give my own opinion.
People
 argued that it is best to accept bad things.
This
 is because they believe that if they try to do nothing but face with
hurtful
Add an article
the hurtful
a hurtful
show examples
 situation, they will pass it and continue existing. As a matter of fact, when someone meets bad situations, they rarely deal with it but hide from it in order to not to have any other
problems
 and maybe to live
peacefuly
Correct your spelling
peacefully
.
For instance
, many
people
 find that it
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
 to live
although
 having no job or lack
of
Change preposition
apply
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assets.
On the other hand
, it is believed that we should try and deal with
such
problems
. There is a reason why
people
 believe
this
 when the
problems
solved
Add a missing verb
are solved
show examples
, everyone can spend
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 quality
of
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apply
show examples
lifetime
Replace the word
life
show examples
. They witness situations
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. But when they try to improve them, they are not only stronger
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both physical health and mental health but
also
Correct your spelling
acquire
accquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
 proper experiences and skills.
Nevertheless
, after they tackle all of the
problems
, they will live in peace and
happy
Replace the word
happiness
show examples
. A good illustration of
this
 is
people
 who try to rise up are usually happier than those who want to hide from them.
In
Change preposition
To
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summarize
Replace the word
summary
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe both of the statements have merits. On balance,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
people
 should try to make their life
worth-living
Correct your spelling
worth living
show examples
 by meeting obstacles and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 through them. What is life without challenges?
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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