Essay #2: More and more people want to own famous brands such as cars, clothes, or other items. This is positive or negative? Give out your opinion.

#people #brands #cars #clothes #items

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In the

last

Linking Words

several decades, people

desire

Wrong verb form

have desired

show examples

more worldwide brand items,

due to

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economical

Replace the word

economic

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development. A wide range of individuals

wants

Correct subject-verb agreement

want

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to show off to get respect from others, which leads to negative consequences. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will consider in

this

Linking Words

essay. On the

Correct your spelling

one

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hand, most people who

earned

Wrong verb form

earn

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money believe that if they buy costly components,

such

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as clothes, automobiles, and accessories

then

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they can get respect from their relatives and friends. Absolutely, they do not follow

old-fashion

Correct your spelling

old-fashioned

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, these communities always have a thirst for newer items.

Not to mention

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, it is like an addiction if we cannot control it.

For instance

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, somebody who wants to be like

Correct article usage

a celebrities

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celebrities

Fix the agreement mistake

celebrity

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may pay a high cost for costumes;

however

Linking Words

, he or she

has

Verb problem

does

show examples

not much money for that.

Hence

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this

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method is a total waste of money.

On the other hand

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, it can be seen that others think differently. People who are conservationists, clearly are opposed to

this

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method.

For example

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, They are in favour of buying in bulk, avoiding wasting materials

Remove the comma

apply

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and using a closed-loop cycling system.

As a result

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, they feel that it is an unnecessary industry for humankind and other biodiversities. To summarize, the contemporary world is surrounded by endless brands which are useless and not essential at all.

Consequently

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, the process of providing more new elements has caused devastating threats.

Furthermore

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, from my perspective, it is the best time to think differently and save the world, because buying well-known brands more and more is completely useless and the disadvantages outweigh the possible advantages.

Submitted by neda.momeni.art on Mon Jul 25 2022

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task response

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical structure of the essay could be improved for better coherence and clarity. More specific examples that directly address the prompt would strengthen the response. Make sure to address both the positive and negative aspects of owning famous brands and provide a balanced evaluation of their impact.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a basic logical structure, but the presentation and development of ideas could be more organized and coherent. Consider using transitional devices to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, ensure that the supporting points are relevant to the topic and provide clear and comprehensive explanations.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Essay #2: More and more people want to own famous brands such as cars, clothes, or other items. This is positive or negative? Give out your opinion.

Describe how you manage your time when you are both planning and coordinating activities in your personal schedule.

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend and what is your opinion?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

some people say that that adversiting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.other people think that advertining is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinoin

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?