Essay #2: More and more people want to own famous brands such as cars, clothes, or other items. This is positive or negative? Give out your opinion.

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In the
last
Linking Words

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several decades, people
desire
Wrong verb form
have desired

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb desire. Consider changing it.

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more worldwide brand items,
due to
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

economical
Replace the word
economic

The word economical doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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development. A wide range of individuals
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want

It seems that the verb wants does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to show off to get respect from others, which leads to negative consequences. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will consider in
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay. On the
on
Correct your spelling
one

The word on doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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hand, most people who
earned
Wrong verb form
earn

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb earned. Consider changing it.

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money believe that if they buy costly components,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as clothes, automobiles, and accessories
then
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they can get respect from their relatives and friends. Absolutely, they do not follow
old-fashion
Correct your spelling
old-fashioned

The word old-fashion doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, these communities always have a thirst for newer items.
Not to mention
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is like an addiction if we cannot control it.
For instance
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, somebody who wants to be like
Correct article usage
a celebrities

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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celebrities
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrity

It seems that celebrities may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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may pay a high cost for costumes;
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, he or she
has
Verb problem
does

There may be a verb use issue here.

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not much money for that.
Hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

method is a total waste of money.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be seen that others think differently. People who are conservationists, clearly are opposed to
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

method.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, They are in favour of buying in bulk, avoiding wasting materials
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and using a closed-loop cycling system.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they feel that it is an unnecessary industry for humankind and other biodiversities. To summarize, the contemporary world is surrounded by endless brands which are useless and not essential at all.
Consequently
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the process of providing more new elements has caused devastating threats.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, from my perspective, it is the best time to think differently and save the world, because buying well-known brands more and more is completely useless and the disadvantages outweigh the possible advantages.

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task response
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical structure of the essay could be improved for better coherence and clarity. More specific examples that directly address the prompt would strengthen the response. Make sure to address both the positive and negative aspects of owning famous brands and provide a balanced evaluation of their impact.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic logical structure, but the presentation and development of ideas could be more organized and coherent. Consider using transitional devices to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, ensure that the supporting points are relevant to the topic and provide clear and comprehensive explanations.
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