Essay #2: More and more people want to own famous brands such as cars, clothes, or other items. This is positive or negative? Give out your opinion.
In the
last
several decades, people desire
more worldwide brand items, Wrong verb form
have desired
due to
economical
development. A wide range of individuals Replace the word
economic
wants
to show off to get respect from others, which leads to negative consequences. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will consider in Correct subject-verb agreement
want
this
essay.
On the on
hand, most people who Correct your spelling
one
earned
money believe that if they buy costly components, Wrong verb form
earn
such
as clothes, automobiles, and accessories then
they can get respect from their relatives and friends. Absolutely, they do not follow old-fashion
, these communities always have a thirst for newer items. Correct your spelling
old-fashioned
Not to mention
, it is like an addiction if we cannot control it. For instance
, somebody who wants to be like Correct article usage
a celebrities
celebrities
may pay a high cost for costumes; Fix the agreement mistake
celebrity
however
, he or she has
not much money for that. Verb problem
does
Hence
, this
method is a total waste of money.
On the other hand
, it can be seen that others think differently. People who are conservationists, clearly are opposed to this
method. For example
, They are in favour of buying in bulk, avoiding wasting materials,
and using a closed-loop cycling system. Remove the comma
apply
As a result
, they feel that it is an unnecessary industry for humankind and other biodiversities.
To summarize, the contemporary world is surrounded by endless brands which are useless and not essential at all. Consequently
, the process of providing more new elements has caused devastating threats. Furthermore
, from my perspective, it is the best time to think differently and save the world, because buying well-known brands more and more is completely useless and the disadvantages outweigh the possible advantages.Submitted by neda.momeni.art on
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task response
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical structure of the essay could be improved for better coherence and clarity. More specific examples that directly address the prompt would strengthen the response. Make sure to address both the positive and negative aspects of owning famous brands and provide a balanced evaluation of their impact.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic logical structure, but the presentation and development of ideas could be more organized and coherent. Consider using transitional devices to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, ensure that the supporting points are relevant to the topic and provide clear and comprehensive explanations.