Young people committing crimes should be treated the same as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Crime
is increasing every day in society. Many nations believe,
jail
Correct word choice
that jail
show examples
is the solution to
crime
.
However
, there are numerous better solutions available by educating people, which give an insight
of
Change preposition
into
show examples
the law,
career
Correct word choice
and career
show examples
development, and improve
responsibility
Replace the word
responsiveness
show examples
. Education provides
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
major importance of the law for people. Individual commit crimes without
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
show examples
the effect of it, so the education process
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
rigid actions on
crime
.
This
stops people from committing crimes in communities.
For example
, education on the law made me know all the criminal laws and stops my action in the circumstances of
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
.
Submitted by Arunsap05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: