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Band 5.5

IT is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.

#people #risks #lives
In today’s background,
risks
 showed it significant role whether
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 professional lives or personal lives, some people might think taking
risks
 was a worse decision. At the same time, there were
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of
Correct article usage
the publics
show examples
publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
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 considered it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a great way to take a risk. Taking
risks
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a huge number of pros, it
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
 a brave and confident personality.
For example
, once a
master
Change noun form
master's
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 degree student in university took a mission that if he could finish two sci
article
Fix the agreement mistake
articles
show examples
 in half of the year,
then
 he could be entitled
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
vice professor,
otherwise
, he would be held
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 his original position for 3 years. Meanwhile, taking
risks
also
 stimulate a person’s potential, and
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 people’s capabilities.Continue to cite the example above, the
men
Fix the agreement mistake
man
show examples
 put up all his mind
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and managed to figure different things out.New
schedules
Fix the agreement mistake
schedule
show examples
 and
self-discipline
Correct article usage
a self-discipline
show examples
 daily routine,
finally
,
Correct pronoun usage
he
show examples
his
Correct your spelling
he's
show examples
 hit his goal successfully, which showed the magnificent role taking
risks
 played. Everything
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 two sides, there are some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cons to
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
risks
.It might let you down after all or lose
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 initial positive upward mobility.
For instance
, a merchant bravely invested
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
risky project with 1.8 million pounds
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and lost about 80% of it
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end. Taking
risks
Add the particle
to influence
show examples
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
 a lot not only
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a person, but the people around and surroundings, like once
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 his partly three-fourths fortune to bet
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a match, and left nothing on him.Sometimes,taking
risks
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not that advantage as well. In general, considering the advantages overweight the disadvantages,
such
 as a poor businessman after a financial crisis, he carried on his way to take
risks
 insistently, outcome,he became a great successful billionaire.So having enough courage to face whether in professional or personal
lives’
Correct your spelling
lives risks
risks
 are truly
value
Replace the word
valuable
show examples
 for humanities.
Submitted by chenyuling430 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: