It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Although

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

believe that

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

risky experience determines a bad influence on

life

Use synonyms

, there are others who consider to taking risks brings a benefit change, both in a professional career as well as private

life

Use synonyms

. I concur

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Linking Words

Correct word choice

that this

show examples

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

advantages outweigh any disadvantages. On the one hand, it can be thought

when

Correct word choice

that

show examples

people

Use synonyms

make

Correct pronoun usage

who make

show examples

a risky move create an insecure person as a consequence of failure in

this

Linking Words

new experience. Indeed, a problem when a person

take

Change the verb form

takes

show examples

risk

Use synonyms

is make

Change the verb form

is making

show examples

a mistake that could influence

Change preposition

apply

show examples

his psyche, follows

Change preposition

show examples

personal problems.

For example

Linking Words

, in many companies, when employees try to overcome themselves to get a new position without good results,

this

Linking Words

affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

life

Use synonyms

, decreasing

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

good results and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not

taking

Change the verb form

take

show examples

Use synonyms

Add an article

a risk

the risk

show examples

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

in their private

life

Use synonyms

being a monotonous routine.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, a big

advantages

Correct the article-noun agreement

advantage

show examples

of taking risks is a

life

Use synonyms

change if the result of

this

Linking Words

is good.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, when

people

Use synonyms

have a positive change, directly affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their career and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

personal lives.

For instance

Linking Words

, the

life

Use synonyms

Marzk

Correct your spelling

Mark

Zuckerberg is knowledge because he was studying to be a good professional

Change preposition

show examples

Harvard when he take the decision to create Facebook, as a consequence of

this

Linking Words

risk

Use synonyms

, he created a big fortune, he began to earn a big amount of money being a multimillionaire.

Also

Linking Words

, It can be seen the balance of his decision of private and professional move, result in a successful person. In conclusion, I believe

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

a risky move is

really

Replace the word

real

show examples

benefit

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

people

Use synonyms

in many ways despite some

people

Use synonyms

thing the contrary.

However

Linking Words

, there are many

example

Change to a plural noun

examples

show examples

successful

Add an article

a successful

show examples

businessman

Fix the agreement mistake

businessmen

show examples

who did not have fear of

take

Change the verb form

taking

show examples

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

roberto.carrascopizarro

Jul 26, 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside, while others argue that living in cities is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Students at schools and universities learn far more by lessons with their teachers compared to other sources (e.g. television, the Internet). Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

These days, fooddays, food travels long distances before reaching consumers, and it is therefore believed that consuming locally grown food would bring about a number of economic and environmental benefits. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages ?