Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Studying in
school
Use synonyms
plays an important role in our life.We will spend around 12 years finishing studying.Some people argue that the target of leading in
school
Use synonyms
is to change the children into perfect citizens not benefit them as an individual.
However
Linking Words
, I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
point. On the one hand, teachers teach lots of basic knowledge about being a standard citizen or worker.
However
Linking Words
, there is some news on the tv talking about a man who cannot find a suitable job so he killed numerous people.Even though not all
student
Use synonyms
will become a criminal in the
future
Use synonyms
, it will be a consequence while the
school
Use synonyms
become a factory producing good and ordinary
student
Use synonyms
,which are useless to society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,I think schools need to benefit the different students as individuals.Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are various types of jobs in society.
Hence
Linking Words
,the
school
Use synonyms
need to help the children to develop their own talent and individual.
For example
Linking Words
, there is a
student
Use synonyms
who can run very fast but is not good at math.So what the
school
Use synonyms
need to do is to train him to become a professional athlete in the
future
Use synonyms
,not a mathematician.After being trained in
school
Use synonyms
,every
student
Use synonyms
can find a suitable job in the
future
Use synonyms
because of their own talent and individual. To summarize, I do not agree the main purpose of
school
Use synonyms
is to transform the kids into good citizens or employees.Society needs numerous kinds of jobs and personalities to finish different kinds of work.
Hence
Linking Words
, what schools need to do is train the
student
Use synonyms
to become individual people in the
future
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sinpaulpaul1234567890 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social responsibility
  • foundational knowledge
  • career success
  • economic contribution
  • personal development
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • balanced education
  • community well-being
  • holistic education
  • academic and personal growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: